Valentine Romance
by BettyHT
Summary: Some suffering Adam in this one. Adam met Meredith when she was a young girl and a friend of Joe's. When he sees her again, she is a beautiful woman with a sad, dark secret. Love, romance, finding out her secret, and dealing with her past make up the rest of the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Oh, Adam, I was reading a book my older sister Charlotte had hidden in her room. It was very romantic, and this secret admirer sent his lady love champagne and chocolates every day for a month. Then he showed up at the Valentine's Day dance to claim his prize. He entered the ballroom with a mask on and whisked her away with him. Adam, when I'm old enough, will you send me chocolates and champagne just like he did?"

"Meredith, I pledge that I will do that when you are old enough. How old are you now?"

"I'm twelve, but my mama says I'm tall for my age. I'm taller than Little Joe, but I'm a year older too. We sit in school together for reading because I read so much better than everyone else so I help him and some of the other boys. Joe says you went to college. Did you get to read a lot there?"

Smiling and reminiscing over his college years, Adam turned to look at Meredith. "Yes, Meredith, I did and enjoyed that immensely. I have a lot of books in the house. If you would like to borrow one, you may go look at them." Hoping to get his little tagalong interested in something else succeeded.

"Really? I can read one of your books?"

"Just be careful with it, and when you bring it back, you can choose another."

Meredith ran to the house with that permission granted. Inside Little Joe was coming down the stairs after changing clothes. He had gone fishing with Meredith and fallen in the stream when he was trying to unsnag her line. His father had insisted on a bath and clean clothing so Meredith had been outside sitting near Adam and chatting.

"Joe, Adam says I can look at his books and borrow one to read. Isn't that wonderful. He's very sweet."

"Adam sweet? I think you got too much sun today. He's just a bossy know-it-all. Why would you want to read a book that you don't hafta read anyway?"

"Because it's fun to read new books."

Shaking his head, Joe asked if she wanted to go for a ride before she had to ride home. She did, but said she wanted to pick a book out first. Soon she had her selection because she hadn't read any of the books Adam had. She and Joe ran out to their ponies. Meredith packed the book carefully into her saddlebags and looked over at Adam at the forge. He had removed his shirt since she had gone in the house and even at the age of twelve, Meredith appreciated the long lean look of him with the dark hair curling on his chest dampened by sweat.

"Watcha looking at? Let's go while we still got time for a nice ride."

For the next couple of years, Meredith was a frequent visitor to the Ponderosa. She always found time to follow Adam around and ask questions, and she always brought a book back and then borrowed another. Adam tried to remember to keep his shirt on when she was around for very often he caught her staring at him and found it unnerving to see that kind of look on the soon to be teenager. When Meredith turned fourteen though, her parents thought it unseemly that she visit the Ponderosa without an escort, so she was there only infrequently. She had read most of Adam's books by then anyway. At church services and social events, Joe still tried to maintain his friendship with Meredith, but she became serious and standoffish. Joe moved on to other girls who were friendlier. Two years later, Meredith was sent to live with an aunt in San Francisco. She didn't return until she was twenty-one. She took a room at the boardinghouse and got a job at the mercantile.

Having matured into a beautiful young woman, Meredith attracted a lot of attention from the men in town who more than ever found reasons to visit the mercantile. Intent on picking up supplies for the ranch, Joe was there shortly after she returned. He admired the shapely woman stocking shelves and was surprised when she turned around.

"Meredith? Is that you? My God, I had no idea you were back in town."

"Yes, I've returned from my banishment to California."

"Hardly a banishment. Your folks were always telling tales about you and your antics there, and how you were going to school and learning so much. So why are you working in a mercantile? I thought for sure you would be a nurse or a teacher at the very least. You were always the smartest girl I ever knew."

"Perhaps not so smart as I should have been. I work here to pay my room and board."

"Well, why don't you live with your parents? They must be thrilled to have you back."

"Not so thrilled as you might think." Trying to deflect the conversation to Joe and away from her, Meredith asked about what he was doing.

"Oh, picking up supplies. Hey, we're giving a big Christmas dance and party at the ranch on Saturday. The weather has been so mild this year, we thought we might revive that old tradition. Would you be willing to come to the party? I could pick you up."

"Oh, I don't know. I haven't been to a dance in ages."

"Aw, c'mon, your ma was always talking about the balls and cotillions and such you were at. You must be a great dancer by now."

"Well, perhaps if I had a good dance partner, I could manage. Will your whole family be there?"

"Of course. They'll all be thrilled to see you too."

"Yes, Joe, I will go to the party. In fact, I would be pleased if you could give me a ride."

On Saturday at four, Joe hitched up the carriage to go to town to pick up Meredith. Hoss took the surrey to pick up his date. After everything that had happened recently with the Bannings, Adam was just planning to lay low for a while. He had no one special for the dance. When Meredith arrived with Joe, the whole Cartwright clan was there to greet her. It had been a long time, but all of them had liked the spirited girl she had been. All were surprised like Joe to find her so quiet and reserved, but they were equally impressed with how beautiful she had become. She wasn't a cute fourteen-year-old any more. She was a beautiful young woman who stood perhaps an inch taller than Joe.

As the musicians started up, Joe offered his arm to Meredith and they danced with only each other for the next hour. There were some jealous looks in the room because of that. Adam did his best to dance with all of the other single ladies and with wives whose husbands refused to go on the dance floor. Warm after squiring yet another hefty matron around the floor in a sprightly jig, Adam headed for the door and the delightfully cool weather of the early winter. Alone on the porch leaning against the wall of the house, he felt a hand at his arm and turned to find Meredith standing at his side.

"Ah, my little tagalong returns. May I interest you in any of my books? I believe I may have some now that you haven't read yet." Adam noticed a sad wistful look on Meredith's face that he had never remembered seeing on her before. He remembered as more bold and spirited.

"No, you don't have to try to get rid of me, but I wondered that you didn't dance with me. Am I so unattractive that you wouldn't want to be with me on the dance floor."

"Oh, on the contrary, my lady, you are most beautiful. But I thought that all your dances were promised to Joe?"

"We're friends so he asked me to be at the party. I don't think he expected more than that."

"Perhaps not when he asked you, but by his behavior tonight, he only has eyes for you."

"But I only have eyes for you." And Meredith ran her hand from Adam's chest down lower as she pressed her body next to him.. "Adam, my memories of you were what kept me going. At night when I was so sad, I thought of your beautiful eyes and your kissable lips, and it made me forget all the darkness."

With Meredith's attentions, Adam groaned and pulled her to him. That and her sultry voice had him enjoying the moment. As she leaned into him with her face raised up and her lips open, common sense overwhelmed the desire, and he took her upper arms in his hands and pushed her back. Joe arrived at that point. He saw Adam forcefully holding Meredith, and even in the darkness, he could tell his brother and Meredith had been in a passionate embrace. As Adam released Meredith's arms, Joe swung and sucker punched his brother. As Adam picked himself up from the porch rubbing his jaw, he held his hands open to Joe.

"Joe, I don't want to hit you."

"Well, I want to hit you." And Joe unleashed a barrage of punches. Some were blocked by Adam but the others hit their mark, and Adam was down on the floor again. "You told me Melinda kissed you. Well I suppose you're going to try that same lame story now. Get up and fight you coward."

Several people including Hoss were on the porch by then, and Adam stood thinking that Joe wouldn't continue with people watching. He was wrong. Joe hit him again and then tackled him. When he put his hands around Adam's throat though Hoss stepped in and pulled him off.

"What is the meaning of this? What in tarnation do the two of you think you're doing?" Ben was outraged that his sons were fighting at a party at their home.

"I'll tell you, but not in front of all these people."

Ben turned and asked a couple of friends to please get everyone back inside. Meredith was sobbing and Hoss helped her up from the floor where she had sank and into a chair.

"I came out here to find Adam taking liberties with Meredith. If I hadn't stopped him, who knows what he would have done."

"Adam, what happened?"

Looking over at Meredith who was still crying and now looking at him with fear, Adam shook his head and began walking to the stable. He pulled out a handkerchief and began dabbing at the blood on his face and the blood streaming from his nose.

"Adam, get back here and explain yourself!"

But Adam kept on walking ignoring his father's command.

"Hoss, hitch up the carriage so you can give Meredith a ride home. Joe, you go around back and up to your room."

"But I didn't do anything wrong. What about him?" Pointing at the stable, Joe's anger began to rise again.

"I will talk to him when everything calms down around here. Now please do as I say. There's been enough turmoil for the night already." Joe reluctantly did as his father asked. Ben went to Meredith to apologize for his son, but that only caused more tears so instead he sat next to her and kept a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Gradually she calmed down.

In the stable, as Hoss went to get the carriage horse, he couldn't ignore Adam who sat on a hay bale holding his bloody handkerchief to his nose. "I accepted that Regan kissed you. Joe accepted that Melinda kissed you. After tonight, I don't know that we can ever believe anything you say. How could you treat that little gal that way?"

Muffled by the cloth, Adam's response was clear enough. "What makes you think I did anything wrong?"

"Ifn you didn't, you woulda fought back. You woulda been mad about what we said to you. Now I know you better, and I don't like what I learned."

Hoss exited the stable leaving Adam sitting alone in the dark. Knowing his father would likely be there soon, Adam walked out the tack room door and went around the stable and corral to the house. He couldn't tell his father what Meredith had done, and see his father not believe him. Joe's condemnation and Hoss' just a few minutes earlier had been enough. In his room, he packed some clothing and his shaving kit and left the same way he had entered. The stable was empty when he returned so he saddled up Sport and walked him from the stable. Once he was far enough away that he wouldn't be heard, he mounted up for the ride to town. At the livery stable in town, he paid for one night and watched as Hoss drove the empty carriage out of town. He headed for the saloon to get a beer and try to dull the ache in his jaw and nose.

When Hoss returned and found Sport's stall empty, he told his father that Adam was gone. Ben was furious, but there was little he could do. He would tell Joe, and they would have to await Adam's return to try to clear the air.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was very late by the time Ben and his younger sons had finished straightening up the great room and clearing away all the dishes from the table. Hop Sing and a cousin were finishing up in the kitchen. Joe and Hoss had been silent while working which was highly unusual for them. Hoss broke the silence first.

"Pa, what do you suppose makes Adam that way? Why does he hafta try to take the women away from us? It ain't like women aren't always chasing after him."

Joe's look said that he agreed with Hoss' evaluation.

"We don't know what happened out there tonight. Neither one of them was talking about it at all. Hoss, did Meredith say anything on the ride to town."

"Nah, she just whimpered some, and said she'd ruined everything. I told her not to blame herself, and then she started that whimpering again, so I didn't say nuthin more."

"Pa, I know what I saw. No man gets that way just looking at a woman. He had her arms and who knows what he made her do."

With the events of the past few weeks, a little doubt seeped into Ben's mind too. He had to wonder exactly what was in Adam's mind, but his oldest son rarely shared his thoughts. Ben hated to think of why that might be. Instead he suggested they all needed to get some sleep although he doubted it would be restful for any of them. He looked at the tree and wondered if they would be celebrating Christmas in a few days, or suffering through a family crisis. Before any of them even got into bed, there was a pounding on the front door. Rushing downstairs wondering what could be such an emergency, they were shocked to find Roy at the door.

"Ben, Doc Martin says you all better come to town. Adam's been hurt real bad. He's at the Doc's. As I was leaving, he was thinking he was gonna have to do some surgery on him."

"What happened?" Ben asked as he and his sons grabbed coats, hats, and gunbelts.

"He was at the saloon pretty much minding his own business as I hear, and some folks who was at your party stopped by. They told everyone there that Adam done attacked that pretty little Meredith. Well, Ben, it being a Saturday night and all, they was pretty liquored up in there, and they decided to hold a trial right then and there. They found him guilty in a minute and decided he needed to hang. Now they never got that far, but Adam tried fighting em, and they beat him pretty bad before anyone told me what was going on and I was able to get over there and stop it."

In the dark even with a full moon, it took nearly two hours for them to reach town and the doctor's office. Lights were burning in the front office so it was clear that Adam was still being treated. When Ben and the others entered, the door to the surgery was still closed. They took off their coats and settled in to wait.

After about another hour, one of the ladies, Mary Harper, who often assisted Doc Martin in surgery came out to tell them that Adam was still alive, but that the doctor was by his side yet, and that he didn't want any disturbance in the surgery. Paul had been at the party earlier and knew some of what had happened. When Ben and the others walked into the surgery, an exhausted Paul looked up at them where he sat next to Adam who was still on the surgery table. There were bloody cloths on the floor and a basin of very bloody water sitting on a tray. As Mrs. Harper and another lady bustled about the room cleaning up, Ben and his sons approached the table where Adam lay. Paul put his finger to his lips to indicate he wanted silence. All three were almost sick to look at Adam laying there with his eyes swollen shut and a face so bruised and puffed up, not one of them would have recognized him. What was more frightening though were the two large wads of bandages secured to his body. One was on his right side over his ribs where bruising framed the white cloth, and the other was lower on the left side again framed by bruising but this was even darker and more ominous looking. Once they got a good look at him, Paul signaled that they should leave the room.

For another hour, Paul monitored Adam's vital signs. When there was no change, he went to talk with Adam's family. "He has broken ribs that were displaced and had to be put back in place. That's the bandage on the right side. He had a tear in his spleen too which bled out a lot before I got to it and sewed it shut. He's lost a lot of blood with the injuries and then the surgeries to repair the damage. You can see how battered he is, and I'm assuming some damage to the kidneys but I don't know how serious that is. I don't know about the condition of his eyes because they're so swollen. There are injuries to his arms too that may be cracked bones, but I don't want to do anything more to him tonight. His breathing is shallow but regular, and his heart rate is weak but steady."

When Paul returned to the surgery, Ben sent Hoss and Joe to the hotel to get a room. Joe returned a short time later saying Hoss would get some sleep first and be there early to relieve them. Ben didn't plan to leave until he knew his son would live. Joe was feeling guilty too because he knew some of the injuries Adam had were inflicted by him, and had to wonder if those injuries would be enough in addition to the beating he had received in town to cause his brother's death.

"Pa, I don't care what Adam did or what kind of man he is. I don't want him to die."

Placing a hand on Joe's arm, Ben patted him and did his best to reassure him. "We can pray too. It never hurts to have Him on your side." So they prayed and napped, and finally were awakened by Hoss who brought a tray of food in with him before making a fresh pot of coffee.

"Any word?"

"No, Paul hasn't been out here at all, and it's been over four hours since you left."

Ben hardly had those words out of his mouth, and Paul opened the door of the surgery and came to talk with them again. He had closed the door behind him.

"He's conscious." As Ben moved toward the door to go see Adam, Paul stopped him with a hand on his arm. "He doesn't want to see you. I told him his family was here to see him, and he told me that he doesn't have a family."

"Well, that's ridiculous, Paul. I want to see him, and tell him so."

"No, Ben, you can't. He needs to remain as calm as possible. I don't want him getting upset and trying to move. If those repairs on his spleen don't hold, and I have to go in there again, it would reduce his chances of surviving this by quite a lot."

"But he's my son!"

"Right now, it's more important that he is my patient. I need you to keep your voice down too. There's nothing wrong with his hearing. Go to the hotel, get some sleep, have something to eat, and maybe I can talk him into seeing you later. But I have to tell you, I won't press him too hard at this point."

Hoss agreed to stay in case there was a change, and Ben and Joe went to the hotel to get some sleep. As they walked there, Meredith came up to them.

"I am so sorry. I heard Adam was hurt badly and because of me."

"It's not your fault, my dear. Adam is awake now, and hopefully on his way to recovery."

"It is my fault because of what I did. I hope you can all forgive me. Do you think it would be all right if I went in there to see if I could help?"

"Hoss is sitting inside waiting to see if there's any change. I'm sure he wouldn't mind the company at all."

As Meredith walked into Paul's office, Joe looked at his father. "What do you suppose she meant by that? How could it be her fault?"

"Joe, I have a terrible suspicion that I know what happened now. We're going to have to eat some crow on this one I think."

"What? You mean?"

"Meredith was always attracted to Adam. I was rather relieved when her parents made her stop visiting on her own. At her age, I was afraid of what she might do. Now, she's older, and she may have done it."

"But, Pa, she's a lot younger."

"And your mother was a lot younger than me. Once reaching adulthood, there's no limit on who attracts whom. If what you say you saw is true, Adam may be quite attracted to her too. I've had some time to think about all of this, and she sought him out last night if what I've heard is correct. He was outside first so she must have been watching him to know where he went."

"Well now I really feel like a horse's ass. No wonder Adam didn't want to see me."

"He's feeling the same way about all of us. Makes me wonder what Hoss said to him."

By early afternoon, there was some good news. Adam's kidneys were putting out urine at a normal rate and it was only slightly discolored. Paul heaved a sigh of relief when he saw that. Adam still couldn't see because his eyes were too swollen but heard that. His speech wasn't clear with his swollen lips but was understandable.

"What is it? Talk to me, Paul."

"I was worried that your kidneys might shut down, but I am relieved to say that they're working just fine."

"Well, it's a relief to me too in more ways than one."

Laughing a little at Adam's pun, Paul thought he would try to act as an intermediary. "Your father and brothers would like to see you. Would it be all right if they came in just to say hello?"

Adam went to take a deep breath and had to cut that short with the pain. He breathed very shallowly for a time until the pain eased. "Not today, all right? I just don't want to deal with them today."

"Meredith would like to see you too. She seems quite upset at what happened."

"All right. I wouldn't mind as long as I'm covered up."

Paul pulled the sheet up to Adam's chest, but he asked for a blanket too. Wondering at his modesty, Paul got him the blanket. Once he was covered with that too, Paul went to tell Meredith that she could sit with him. He asked how long she could stay because he needed some sleep and Mrs. Harper wasn't coming back for almost two more hours. Meredith said she would like to sit with Adam that long so Paul went upstairs to his bedroom for some long delayed sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"It wasn't your fault, Meredith."

"But if I had just said what really happened, none of this would have happened to you."

"Meredith, it was my fault too. I liked what you were doing. If I didn't, I wouldn't have stood there enjoying the sensation and thinking about kissing you."

"You were thinking about kissing me? Really?"

"You are a damn attractive woman, and yes, I was very attracted to you."

"But now you're not?"

"Merry, I can't even see you at the moment, but if I could, I would probably embarrass myself again."

"You called me Merry. You're the only one who ever called me that. Why did you call me that?"

"Then or now?"

"Yes."

Adam smiled a little even though it hurt his face and his lips. She still had that little bit of sass in her that he liked. "I never thought Meredith fit you as a name when you were younger. It made you seem older and not such a free spirit. And now, it doesn't do justice to your beauty."

"Adam, you're going to make me cry."

"Merry, I've had time to think laying here. Will you tell me about the sadness and the darkness you mentioned last night?" His query was greeted with silence, and he couldn't see her to know how she had reacted. He tried to lift his arm to reach for her hand, but that hurt too much and he grimaced.

"What's wrong? Do I need to get the doctor or someone?"

"No, I wanted to reach for your hand but that hurt to much to do. Would you be willing to put your hand in mine?"

Wrapping her fingers around Adam's fingers, Merry smiled at him. Even battered as he was, he was trying to comfort her. "I'll tell you sometime, Adam. But not right now. You need to rest, and you've already been talking too much probably. The doctor wants you to rest. If you do that, I'll come visit you every day until you're ready to leave this place."

"And you'll tell me your story?"

"Yes, I will if you still want to hear it when I'm ready to tell it."

"I will, and we have a deal now. Thank you for holding my hand. I needed that."

"Go to sleep now. I'll stay by your side."

With a small smile, Adam relaxed into the sleep he needed so badly. Meredith sat at his side until Mrs. Harper came and then for a couple of hours after that. Paul came down to check on his patient and found her sitting silently and holding Adam's hand.

"He's still sleeping?"

"Yes."

"No. I was just enjoying holding your hand."

"Well, I think it's more I'm holding your hand."

Smiling again, Adam found he could open his eyes a little. Through the slits, he could see Meredith and Paul. He was relieved that it appeared his sight was not affected for he had worried when he couldn't open his eyes and only had blackness. Now he could see them and could see the lamp burning as well. Seeing Adam's eyes opened a little, Paul irrigated them with warm salt water washing out some dried blood which soothed his eyes as well.

"Adam, I want to check the bandages. Do you want Meredith to leave?"

"No, I like her here." Meredith smiled and lightly squeezed his fingers.

Checking the bandages, Paul was relieved to see they were still nice and white, and also very happy to see that the bruising had not increased. Leaning down and looking at Adam's side under the bandage, he could see there was no new bruising. "Everything looks stable. I would like to get you into a bed so we can prop you up and give you more to drink. You need fluids."

"How hard will it be to get me into a bed?"

"I would like to have some help and carry you there. Hoss is outside. If he takes the top section of the sheet, I think Meredith, Mrs. Harper, and I can take the other sides and carry you there."

A little reluctantly, Adam agreed. Meredith summoned Hoss who had been speaking with his father and younger brother. He was embarrassed to have to come in there to help his injured brother and not be able to say anything to him. But he did it because it was what Adam needed, and the four of them got Adam moved to a bed where they propped him up on pillows. Meredith took over duties as nurse giving Adam water and broth to drink. He couldn't use his hands because his arms hurt so badly. Paul examined them after Adam had two cups of fluid.

"No obvious breaks, but certainly some damage and maybe even cracks. I want to splint both forearms to prevent any further problems, and it will reduce the swelling as well."

Adam nodded although he knew it meant he would need a lot of help for the next few weeks. As long as that help was Meredith though, it didn't seem quite so bad. Meredith went home late that evening, and the other Cartwrights went to the hotel. Mrs. Harper sat with Adam who slept until Paul came down to check on him in the early morning hours. Unfortunately as expected, his fever had risen and far more than Paul had feared. They began wiping him down with cool water but his fever continued to rise and he lost consciousness. By the time Meredith and the Cartwrights arrived the next morning, they were needed to help with Adam's care. Taking four hour shifts, the six of them rotated on and off with sponging his body to help him fight the fever. Joe and Hoss took a ride up the mountain and came back with buckets of snow.

With all of their help, Adam woke up on Tuesday morning and asked what day it was. His father was sitting with him at the time and smiled when he told him the day. Adam's fever had broken, and the pain had diminished considerably. Now he had about a month of recuperation ahead of him. Ben called Joe and Hoss into the room and apologies were made and accepted. Adam told them he understood how it could have looked, but with a small smile asked if his brothers could ask the next time before swinging. Hoss and Joe hung their heads a little, but he told them to buck up because he was the one who needed the sympathy. Hoss and Joe smiled at the fact that their brother could be such a smart mouth even in the condition he was in. Ben marveled again at how magnanimous Adam could be when on the receiving end of such admissions.

Even with winter, there was a lot of work that needed to be done on the Ponderosa so Ben and his sons couldn't spend every day in town helping to care for Adam, and in this weather, he couldn't be transported either. Meredith took a leave from her job at the mercantile which wasn't very busy anyway to become Adam's day nurse. Mrs. Harper was his night nurse. Overall, Adam was quite pleased with the arrangement. Then he was even more delighted to find that Meredith knew how to play chess. He couldn't move the pieces without knocking others around so he would tell her which piece to move and where. Occasionally she tried to move a piece so it was to her advantage and would be rewarded with that arched eyebrow and mock scowl from Adam until she put the piece where he wanted it. She tried Joe's trick of moving pieces when he wasn't looking, but he had an amazing memory.

"Put that knight back where it was. I've got you in check with it, and I'm not giving him up with your cheating."

"I'm not cheating. I'm being creative about how I play." She laughed lightly then, and Adam's heart soared. He loved hearing her laugh, and it seemed she did that more and more as they were together. He realized that he enjoyed everything more when she was there. He began to wonder about the nature of love. She was also beautiful and he adored just watching her sometimes. When she leaned forward to help him drink or eat, sometimes her dress dropped open enough at the neckline for him to get a good view of her cleavage. He would have loved to kiss her there and run his tongue up her chest to her neck and kiss her luscious lips, and every time he thought like that, he nearly choked when he drank whatever she was giving him at the time. He would have been amazed to know what was going through her mind.

Meredith liked just being by his side. At night in her room, she thought only of him and dreamed of him as well. Once, just once, she wanted a man of her choice to make love to her and to be interested in making her feel great pleasure instead of just satisfying himself. Somehow she knew that Adam was that kind of man, and she had had fantasies about him since she was twelve. When she was near Adam or thinking about him, she would get this intense feeling and wanted to touch him and have him hold her.

For quite a few months, Meredith had been thinking that sexual attraction was quite fun until it was all ruined for her. She had avoided all males then except when she couldn't. When she had to, she bore their demands before crying herself to sleep. Now Adam wanted her to tell him about that sadness within her, and she wanted to do that and she didn't want to do that. She wanted to unburden herself to someone finally, but what if he never wanted to be near her again after he found out. She found that thought too abhorrent to consider, so she did her best to deflect any attempt by Adam to get her to talk.

That strategy worked until about three weeks into Adam's recovery. Doc Martin told him that in a day or two, he would be free of the splints. Because he would be able to care for his own needs and feed himself, he would no longer need a nurse. He planned to move into the hotel for a week or until the weather was agreeable for a sleigh ride to the Ponderosa.

"Meredith, you made me a promise, and you haven't kept it."

With her heart pounding, Meredith tried to deflect once again. "Oh, I think I have. I have sat here with you day after long day letting you win at chess and holding the books so you could read."

"You know what I mean. It has all been about me and what I want. I need to know about you and what you want. Merry, tell me your story."

Adam had guessed quite a lot, but he thought she needed to say it. Meredith looked at him and opened her mouth and then closed it, completely unsure of herself. Caring for him, playing chess and reading, and sitting by his side while he slept all seemed so pure and sweet. What he wanted now was dark and dirty. She didn't know if she could do it. She stood intending to leave, when he reached out with his splinted arm to grasp her fingers in his. The feeling was electric. She knew she could easily pull away from his touch, but she didn't want to. She backed up instead, and sat down on the edge of the bed with her fingers still in his grasp.

"Tell me, Merry. Tell me and get it out of you. You need to share this with me and lighten your burden."

With her back to him, and tears running down her cheeks, she told him her story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"My father took me when I was fourteen. He said I was a woman and needed a man. When I told my mother, she slapped my face and called me horrible names. That went on for months and months. I thought that if my mother reacted that way and blamed me, what would other people do? So I kept the shameful secret to myself. I stayed away from everyone and tried to disappear. It didn't work. My father got in some financial trouble and could have lost everything. He gave me to Mr. Waverly at the bank. That's how he paid the mortgage for the rest of that year. Once a week, Mr. Waverly visited my father and then came up to my room. When I was just sixteen, I was with child, and they sent me to a convent in California. I never saw my baby because they whisked him away before I ever got to see him. I only know it was a boy, because they told me 'he' was with a _good_ woman. I knew what they thought of me, so I ran away from there taking any job I could find to support myself. There wasn't a job I wouldn't take. I was that kind of woman. Then I saved enough money to come back here hoping my parents would have forgiven me by now, but they told me I had made my choices and had to live with them."

She had talked so fast and never paused at all making it seem as if she had rehearsed her speech but she had not. She had just gone over her life so many times in her mind for so many years wondering how she could have made things turn out differently and never found a way. Adam's first response validated the conclusion she had drawn long ago but never accepted.

"Aw, Merry, you never had any choices. There's nothing to forgive."

Meredith looked at Adam expecting to see revulsion and disgust, but all she saw was the tears in his eyes and the gentle look on his face.

"And all those lies your parents told to cover their shame over what they did to you. They need to beg forgiveness from you. I feel so badly that you had to face all of that on your own. If only you had been able to come to us for help."

Of all the reactions that Meredith had anticipated, this wasn't one of them. All she could see was that Adam felt her pain and wanted to take it away.

"C'mere." She leaned toward him and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't hold her well with those splints on his forearms but did his best to comfort her. When she went to pull away, he asked her to stay. "I don't think you should be alone now. Just rest easy here. Talk if you want or just relax. It's up to you."

"I'm sorry for what I did to you at the party. Just once, I wanted to be with a man when it was my idea. Just once, I wanted to be the one to choose. I had no idea how much trouble I would cause by doing that."

"Well I made things worse by leaving, and it was very stupid of me to go to the saloon."

"But if I would have said something then Joe wouldn't have hit you and none of this would have happened. All because I touched you and I shouldn't have."

"Well I liked it, and sometime when I'm out of these splints and upright again, maybe we could see what else you want to do. I'm willing."

Leaning back and looking up at his face, Meredith saw he had this huge grin. She knew he wanted her, but he was waiting for her to tell him what she wanted, when, and where. She shook her head. "You're terrible!"

"Got you to smile though. You have the most gorgeous smile, and the most desirable lips I've ever seen."

Meredith actually had to blush a little at that, and she thought she had forgotten how to blush. He had that effect on her yet. Suddenly she felt like twelve again adoring Adam from afar and wishing they could be close together and in love. She began to cry with his next statement.

"Merry, I'm falling in love with you. I love your laugh, your sass, your spirit. I love being with you. I'm not sure what love is, but this sure feels like it must be it." Meredith's lip quivered and a few tears slid down her cheek. "Aw, the last thing I wanted to do was make you sad. Please tell me what I can do to stop those tears."

"Nothing, Adam, nothing. I've loved you for years in my dreams. To hear you say it is the most beautiful thing you could have said." Meredith leaned forward then and kissed him lightly. "So where do we go from here?"

"Tomorrow, I get free from here. Would you have dinner with me?"

"I would love to do that."

"Would you allow me to court you?"

"Court me? But that means you might want to marry me?"

"Yes, that's true. So what's your answer?"

Leaning forward, she kissed him again. He did his best to hug her and pull her into a more passionate kiss, but Paul and his father chose to enter the room at that time. Both men cleared their throats almost simultaneously. Meredith jerked upright, but when she tried to stand, Adam held her in place gently.

"Hi, Pa, Doc. Meredith has agreed to let me court her. We're having dinner together tomorrow."

That left the two men speechless for a moment. Meredith turned to Adam who was grinning broadly having surprised both of them. He looked at her and winked.

"You're not joking, are you?"

"No, Pa, I am quite serious about that."

"Don't you need to ask her father's permission?" Both Ben and Paul noticed the sudden dark look on Adam's face and how Meredith's face dropped at that question. Neither would pursue that. Adam gave a simple 'No' before asking Paul when he could get the splints off.

"If you agree to stay at the hotel for a few days so I can monitor how things go, I'll take them off today."

"Hey, Merry, I'm suddenly free for dinner this evening. Can I see you at dinner tonight too?"

"Well, Mr. Cartwright, this is rather late notice, but I think I can fit you in my busy schedule. But don't you think you should have dinner with your father because he came all the way to see you in this snow?"

Ben shook his head. These two were quite a pair.

"Pa, would you like to join us for dinner?"

Agreeing to that, Ben also told Adam that he had packed him a bag with enough clothes for a week, and had brought along the books they had purchased for him but had been unable to give him at Christmas.

"Sorry to have messed up Christmas for everyone."

"You didn't mess it up at all. It's just delayed some. Joe decided we ought to wait to celebrate until you could join us. Joe hates not to have Christmas with all the family. We'll have Christmas on whatever day you decide you're ready to come home."

"May I invite Merry to join us?"

"Certainly! She belongs there if you're courting her. It will be a wonderful time. Merry you better pack a bag though. If we get him home, we won't know how long the weather will hold and you could be snowed in with us. I hope that thought doesn't bother you."

"Not at all. I couldn't imagine a better place to be snowed in."

With his splints off, Adam checked into the hotel. His father carried his bag up to his room when Adam discovered how weak and tender his forearms were. Ben took a room too because he had no intention of trying to get home in the dark and the snow. Dinner was pleasant and many people came up to Adam to wish him well and offer their apologies for what was coming to be called the 'big misunderstanding' because it was clear that Adam and Meredith were on very good terms with each other. After dinner, Ben said he would escort Meredith to her boarding house. It was obvious how tired Adam was after all the activity of the day. He reluctantly agreed even though it meant he could not kiss Meredith good night because he knew that he had to treat her with the utmost respect. Kissing her in the lobby of the hotel would not be acceptable no matter how much he wanted to do just that.

After Ben bid her goodnight, Meredith walked inside the boardinghouse were Mrs. Hawkins had a delivery for her. It was a small wrapped box. When Meredith opened it, there were four chocolates in it and a note saying 'I love you, your secret admirer' which nearly made her laugh. She showed Mrs. Hawkins the note.

"Oh, now, dearie, isn't that going to make your young Cartwright upset?"

"No, I don't think he'll be upset at all." And with a small smile, Meredith went up to her room and she fell into a pleasant sleep. Every day for most of the next week, Meredith had lunch with Adam, strolled through town with him, played chess in the hotel lobby, and then had dinner and conversation with him. They never ran out of things to discuss. Then in the evening, Meredith would return to the boardinghouse to find another package delivered. They were always the same and she recognized the handwriting especially with the little waver that was in them at first because his hand and forearm were still weak. As the days moved on, the penmanship grew more bold and sure. Then came the invitation to the Ponderosa, and Clementine helped her pack saying she had a pretty good idea of how she would be expected to dress while a guest on the Ponderosa.

Arriving on the edge of town with the sleigh, Hoss chose to walk to the hotel from there instead of muddying the sleigh in the dirty streets of town. He helped Adam with his bag, and then walked to the boardinghouse with Adam. Hoss carried both bags back to the sleigh as Adam walked hand-in-hand with Meredith. Hoss heard him call her Merry and asked about that. Adam gave his explanation, and Hoss asked which she preferred. She said among family and friends, she would like them to use Merry for it seemed more friendly so Hoss began calling her that too. Adam sat in the back of the sleigh with Merry as Hoss drove them to the Ponderosa. It was all he could do to control himself with her warm body pressed to his side and the blanket over their legs and pulled up to their waist. At one point, Merry shivered and Adam pulled the blanket higher and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into him where she felt all warm and cozy. At the house, Hoss carried the bags upstairs and Adam showed Merry to the guest room she would be using.

Hop Sing had gone all out for a Christmas Eve style dinner for they were celebrating the holiday, Adam's return home, and Merry being a guest. At the table, Merry sat next to Adam and both behaved themselves very well although they wanted to do a lot of other things. After dinner, there was time for singing in front of the fireplace. Because Adam had not played in nearly a month, and his arms were still weak, most of the songs were sung acapella. Then Ben asked Hop Sing to bring out the mulled wine. By midnight, all had retired to their rooms. Adam couldn't sleep and got up. He decided the safest course of actions was to get fully dressed and he even wore long johns as an additional precaution. He buttoned his shirt but left the tails out as more camouflage just in case it was needed. Then he walked down the hall and softly knocked on Merry's door. In the very quiet house, he heard her gasp and realized what he had done wrong.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I couldn't sleep. I'm going downstairs for some hot chocolate, and you're welcome to join me if you wish." Adam went downstairs then kicking himself for probably reminding Merry of some bad events. He was thinking if he ever saw her father or Waverly, he would have a difficult time not shooting them down like mad dogs. In the kitchen, he quietly prepared some hot chocolate. As he was ready to pour it into a cup, he felt Merry by his side. She was in her gown, but had a thick cotton robe wrapped around her. He smiled and got a second cup turned over so he could pour for two. He handed her one, and then gestured for her to go first out into the great room. She sat on the settee with her feet tucked up under her so Adam took that as an invitation to sit next to her. The tree sparkled in the glow from the fireplace but it was beginning to feel a bit chilly in the room so Adam added two large logs to the fire before returning to sit by her side. They quietly sipped hot chocolate and leaned back relaxing in the warmth of the fire and the warmth of each other sitting close enough together to be touching. After finishing his hot chocolate, Adam set the cup on the table in front of the fireplace and looked at Merry.

"What would you like?"

She knew what he was asking, and thought it was time. "I would like it very much if you would kiss me again. We haven't kissed in a very long time it seems."

With his voice getting a bit hoarse, Adam answered her. "I didn't want there to be any talk about you in town. I was on my best behavior, and it was extremely difficult to do that. I wanted to kiss you all the time. I had to be content to hold your hand." Then he leaned forward and brushed his lips across Merry's. He leaned back to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were closed and she held her cup with both hands. He gently took the cup from her and set it on the table before pulling her gently toward him. He kissed her more firmly then and nudged her lips apart with his tongue. She seemed inexperienced with kissing or at least somewhat unresponsive and that surprised him.

"Am I doing something wrong with the kissing? I don't want to upset you in any way."

"No, it's just that I haven't kissed much." Adam frowned as he thought about that. "Men I have been with haven't been much interested in kissing."

That he understood. "Well, sweetheart, I like kissing. If you don't mind, we could kiss some more?"

"I would love you to do that."

So they kissed more, and Adam did his best to teach her everything he knew about kissing and snuggling together until he had to stop. "Sweetheart, this has been wonderful, but I can't keep doing this. I had an overwhelming desire to do more, and that would be wrong."

"Adam, you can do with me whatever you want."

"No! We will make love when we're both ready for that commitment." Meredith started crying, and Adam was so sorry he had raised his voice and upset her. "I'm so sorry. I only wanted to show you that I respect you as a lady. I never wanted to see you cry."

"No, it's not that. It's that you show me all the time how you do love me, and you are so concerned about my feelings. I don't think anyone ever cared about me like you do, no one. I love you so much, Adam."

So despite not being sure he could control his urges, Adam kissed her again. He pulled her against him and she rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. He kept one arm around her shoulders and lightly caressed her arm with the other. Soon they both slipped into a peaceful slumber, and that's how Ben found them the next morning. He tapped Adam on the shoulder and told him it would be best if the two of them dressed and then came back down for breakfast. Tapping Merry on the nose, Adam awakened her. She seemed startled by the unfamiliar surroundings and took a moment to get her bearings before smiling at Adam. She was going to kiss him again when he mentioned that his father thought they ought to go upstairs and dress for the day and letting her know that way that his father was in the room. After taking care of their needs and dressing, Adam and Merry joined the family for Christmas breakfast.

"Do you always eat like this out here? This is the best food I have ever tasted."

Hop Sing must have heard for soon he brought out a plate of special holiday muffins with nuts and raisons. He offered Merry first choice. Ben usually had first choice so he knew that Hop Sing had heard the compliment.

"Well, my dear, we do not always eat like this out here, but the food is always the best you have ever tasted. We just have even more of Hop Sing's wonderful dishes when it's a holiday."

Hop Sing liked hearing that too, and returned with a coffee pot to pour a fresh cup for Ben. Soon Hoss was praising the food, and Joe picked up on it then and lavished praise on the long time family cook and friend.

"You are so lucky to have a cook like Hop Sing!"

"Merry, he isn't our cook. He's our friend and part of the family who cooks for us." In the kitchen, Hop Sing got a little tear in his eye hearing Adam say that.

"Dadburnit, Adam, do ya always hafta come up with the best lines?"

"Hoss, I'm sure Hop Sing appreciated everything that was said."

Next it was time to open gifts. There was a lot of the usual with Adam getting a couple more books that he had not been given already. It was clear that Ben and his sons had collaborated on Merry's gifts. She opened three boxes but held matching hat, scarf, and muff. When she opened the gift from Adam, it held matching mittens but also a small box of chocolates. She looked at him and smiled. He simply said "The month isn't over yet."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The weather the next day was a Saturday and was one of the mildest winter days they could expect up in the Sierras. Ben left for a meeting in Carson City that wasn't until Monday, but he couldn't pass up such a pleasant day for travel. He could enjoy a restful day in Carson, and be relaxed for the meeting on Monday. If the weather held, he would be home on Tuesday. Joe and Hoss left for a Saturday night in town and planned to spend the night because they didn't want to return home in the dark on roads that would turn icy when the day's melting snow froze as the temperatures dipped when the sun set. Adam stood behind Merry as they waved goodbye to Joe and Hoss at the front door. Merry pushed the door closed and could feel Adam's warm body pressed up against her.

"Pa made us all promise years ago that we would not take a woman up to our room. But he never said anything about a woman taking one of us up to her room."

"Oh I think you've been in my room every day. There's always a chocolate waiting for me in my room when I go to bed. First it was a small porcelain box filled with chocolate drops. Then the lace handkerchief tied with a ribbon and a chocolate inside. Last night it was a ring of chocolates in the shape of a heart on my pillow."

"That wasn't too much over the top, was it?"

"No, I have loved every one of them. I love it even more that you remembered that promise from so long ago. But what about the champagne?"

"Lady, you have to trust me that I have a plan for that."

"You always seem to have a plan. I like that. I never seem to have any idea what's coming next. I like it better your way."

"What about my earlier idea about you taking me to your room?"

Turning into his embrace and putting her arms around his waist, Meredith had to ask. "Is that what you want to do?"

"Only if you do. I don't want to push you into anything, but if it was up to me, I'd be up there already."

Taking Adam's hand, Meredith pulled him toward the stairs. Laughing lightly, he let himself be led to her room. Once inside, she pushed the door closed, and Adam leaned down to kiss her. "Let's take our time and enjoy this. So Meredith let him take the lead because she knew a lot about sex and nothing about making love. They kissed for a lot longer than she expected, and she was amazed at the physical and emotional reactions that brought about when she knew they would end up in her bed. She began to relax and enjoy each sensation. She felt Adam's warm hands on her then before he began unbuttoning her dress as he kissed her lips, her cheeks, her neck, and anything else within range. He sucked an ear lobe into his mouth and she had never felt such a sensation of a man tasting her like that. He took her hands and put them on his shirt so that she would unbutton that first. Soon they tumbled into the bed as the rest of their clothing was discarded. Adam made tender but passionate love with her for the first time. When they finished, he felt her trembling in his arms and saw tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, but I could have a baby now."

"You don't need to be afraid you'll be with child. Merry, don't be afraid. We'll be together. If that happens, we'll have a baby together." He rolled to her side, and pulled her tightly to him. She continued to cry softly. Adam stood then and pulled her up with him. "C'mon. I wasn't going to show you this until Valentine's Day, but this is too important. Come with me." Completely naked, they walked to Adam's room. He stepped to the dresser and pulled open the top drawer removing a small velvet box. He opened it and handed it to her. "It's your ring. I was going to ask you to marry me on Valentine's Day. We'll always be together. So you see, it doesn't matter if you're with child. We'll be married. We'll be parents together if God blesses us with a child."

"You would be happy if we made a child?"

"I would be thrilled. Now it doesn't have to be today, but sometime, yes, I would think that would be wonderful. Don't you?"

"Yes, with you, yes. But Adam, what about my past? I've been thinking a lot since you asked if you could court me. I have such a soiled past, what will your family think if they find out about it."

"Sweetheart, you have a pure heart and an innocent soul. None of what happened to you is your fault. I plan to tell my father and brothers as much of your past as you give me permission to tell. I really think you should let me tell them everything."

"But they'll despise me then and won't want you with me."

"No, they'll understand. They're my family, and we know how hard life can be out here. People do what they have to do to survive sometimes. Wouldn't it be better if they knew it all up front so there were no surprises?"

Nodding, Meredith leaned toward Adam hoping for an embrace and got it. He held her for a minute before he had a request.

"Let's go back to the bed. It's kinda cold standing here like this."

"Can I wear the ring?"

"You can wear it on the gold chain I've seen you wear. On Valentine's Day, I would like to make it official. You wouldn't want to mess up my plans for a month of chocolates, would you?"

"No, I like your plan. It's so very romantic. I always thought of you as the dangerous gunslinger type, but you really are a thoughtful, gentle, romantic man."

"Don't tell anyone. I wouldn't want that to get around." Hurrying down the hall with her, they got to her room and slid into bed pulling the covers over them. They talked and hugged, and when it was time for dinner, they dressed and hurried downstairs so that Hop Sing would not come looking for them. As it turned out, Hop Sing had made a very nice dinner for them with unusual dishes at which Hoss and Joe would probably have turned up their noses. Adam was more adventurous and Meredith's palate liked a variety of flavors so Hop Sing had indulged himself and made dishes he normally didn't get to make. He had the additional advantage of being able to eat the same dishes. He was quite happy, and then thrilled when Adam and Meredith praised his cooking and thanked him. The couple spent the evening in front of the fireplace, and then slept together in Meredith's room after making love again. The next morning, they made love again.

"Is it going to be this way with you all the time? I think I'm going to be exhausted and walk funny if that's the case."

"No, sad to say, it won't be. When I'm back to working, I won't have as much time, and at night, I'll be tired, so once each day will probably be the limit." He smiled at her then. She loved seeing that dimpled smile. "Now, Hoss and Joe will be home soon so we ought to get dressed and act like we didn't do all those things we did. Then we ought to talk to Hoss about giving us a ride to town. I don't want people saying too much about you so you really ought to go back to the boarding house until we marry."

"I was afraid you were going to say that. This has been so wonderful. I can't remember anything so nice ever happening to me. I didn't want it to end."

"It's not ending. It's just like beginning the next chapter of a book. I hate to see you go too, but you know you have to go back to town, don't you?"

"I'm going to miss you so much. I guess I could go back to work for a while. I probably don't have to though. Your father paid me so well to be your nurse, I could live off that check for six months. Mrs. Harper says he always pays well when someone is taking care of one of his sons. Does that happen a lot?"

"Certainly more often than we would like."

That afternoon, Hoss drove the sleigh into town again. Adam walked Meredith to the boardinghouse and promised to be in town the following Saturday to take her to dinner and church services on Sunday. She asked if there was anything that could create a problem, and he told her he would come through a blizzard if he had to. She told him not to do that, and he kissed her lightly on the cheek before walking back to the sleigh for the ride home. Adam drove the sleigh about halfway home, before waking Hoss from his nap and saying his arms couldn't take any more. They were getting stronger but being in splints for three weeks had weakened them as much as the injuries had. Sliding into bed that night made the previous night seem like a dream. He was anxious for every night to be like that first night with Meredith. He slept well feeling that things were finally working out for him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

On Saturday, there was a blizzard, and despite Adam's protestations that he had promised Meredith that he would see her no matter what, his family's common sense prevailed. Adam stalked around the house like a caged and angry cougar for the next week. Everyone was relieved when the next weekend was sunny and warm enough to melt a lot of the snow. Adam packed a bag, and saddled up Sport. Hoss and Joe were ready for a night in town too so they did the same. Ben told them all to be careful because he always told them to be careful. Sunday was Valentine's Day and there was a dance scheduled in town. Adam assumed he had a date, but his brothers had not been off the ranch in nearly two weeks so had not been able to make plans with anyone.

In town, Adam stopped in at the restaurant first to make sure he could still get a reservation and special requests for dinner. Hoss and Joe made a reservation as well hoping they could make a date at short notice. Adam rather liked the thought that his brothers would be in the restaurant that evening whether alone or with ladies. It took him some time to find Meredith. She wasn't at the boardinghouse because she had gone to the mercantile. There they said she was going to the library, and at the library, he was told that she was headed to the dress shop. He found her at the third dress shop that he checked.

"Oh, Adam, I'm so glad you got to town. I was hoping that with the sun shining you would make it. There's a dance tonight."

"Yes, and I was hoping you would go to dinner with me and then to the dance."

"That's what I was hoping too. I have three dresses picked out but I don't know which one to get." She held them up for her perusal.

"Definitely not the blue one. It's too plain. I like the red one but it is very bright red, probably too bright, so I would go with the green patterned one. It would look good with your color."

"Mr. Cartwright, I made the same recommendation to your lady. I have some coordinating items that go with it quite well too. There is a dark green jacket with matching gloves as well as this small purse."

"Good. We'll take them."

"Adam, I was buying this myself. I can't afford all of that."

"Very well. I'll buy the accessories and give them to you for Valentine's Day. Is that acceptable?"

"But you already gave me something for Valentine's Day."

"That's for Valentine's Day for you to wear, but it is not a gift, it's a promise. These are gifts. Do you like them?"

"Yes, but it's too much. I can't accept them."

"No, it is not nearly enough but it will do for now."

"Are we having our first fight?"

"No, we are having a minor disagreement because you are refusing a gift from me."

"Mademoiselle, I do think that the gentleman has a point. It is gift from him, but also to him for he will get to enjoy you in these." The dress shop owner did her best to calm the waters, and she did get Meredith to smile but not at what she had said. Meredith was thinking Adam would like to see her out of those clothes probably a lot more than in them. He saw the wicked little gleam in her eye and shook his head. "You will take them then?" Meredith smiled again and nodded.

"Now, I have reservations for dinner, and then I would like to escort you to the dance. Would that be acceptable to you?"

"Well, it is rather short notice." As Adam rolled his eyes and waited, she accepted. He walked her back to her boardinghouse, and waited in the parlor visiting with Clementine who seemed to have all sorts of questions and mostly about his father. Other than talking so much, she was an interesting character, and Adam enjoyed teasing his father about her. But then the serious look came over his face as he thought about things, and by the time Meredith was ready for dinner and the dance, the mask settled firmly in place. As they walked to the restaurant, she had to ask him what he had been thinking about that made him so serious when earlier he had been so lighthearted.

"Fathers."

"Yours or mine?"

"Both. My father is lecturing me on jumping into a relationship too fast. I think he suspects how intimate we've become. I have told him about your past, but I also reminded him that I'm thirty-four years old and quite capable of making my own decisions. He didn't like that."

"What did he say about me?"

"He feels very sorry about what happened and outraged that men would do that. He wishes like I do that we would have known about it at the time."

Relieved that Ben was not blaming her for what had happened when she was so young, Meredith was more concerned then about Adam's use of the fathers plural. "I'm afraid to ask, but what about my father? Why is that a concern today?"

"According to Mrs. Hawkins, he's been spreading tales about you in town, and trying to undermine our relationship by convincing people that you're a gold digger. I wanted to beat him into the dirt before for what he did to you, but that would only have exposed your sadness to the whole town. But now, I think I wouldn't mind doing it anyway just on principle."

By the time Adam escorted Meredith into the restaurant, Joe and his lady friend and Hoss were already seated. They invited Adam and Merry to sit with them but Adam just scowled which caused Hoss to laugh out loud drawing attention and making Joe giggle. During dinner, Adam and Merry discussed books mostly and the weather a little. Adam always felt caged when the weather closed in on them like it had several times recently with the snow, wind, and cold. When it was time for dessert, the waitress brought a wrapped box to the table and presented it to Merry. She looked at Adam who told her it was planned. She unwrapped the box to find two crystal flutes.

"They're beautiful!"

And then the proprietor appeared with a bottle of champagne. Adam pointed at the two crystal flutes and he poured until each was about half full. Looking over at Merry, Adam just said four words, and she started cry. As he had pulled the ring which he had retrieved from her earlier from his pocket, he asked her. "Will you marry me?" She nodded and he reached for her hand to slip the ring on her finger. Then she started crying more. Adam stood and pulled her into an embrace. People all over the restaurant were frowning and wondering what he had done to make the beautiful Meredith cry. He picked up her left hand and raised it so everyone could see the ring. Then he held her until she stopped crying. Joe had been one of the surprised patrons, but when he looked over at Hoss, he had seen that he was just grinning.

"Hoss, he told you, didn't he?"

"Yup, couldn't keep it all inside himself and had to tell somebody. I'm the only one he trusted with the secret."

"Well, he could have trusted me."

"Joe, you would told all sorts of people and then told them not to tell anyone else. The whole town woulda known before Adam and Merry ever got to the restaurant. By the way, ain't she pretty in that new dress and jacket?"

Merry had calmed down by then, and Adam pulled her chair back to let her sit again. They drank the champagne although Merry said she wasn't fond of it after just a half glass. Adam poured himself one more glass and then had the waiter take it to Joe and Hoss to finish.

"Adam, you kept that promise from when I was about twelve, I think. I can't believe you remembered that."

"I was impressed with you even then although even more for some additional and entirely different reasons now."

Blushing, Merry decided to change the subject. "Joe seems very enamored with his lady friend."

"He always is, and then next week or next month, it will be someone different. I'm beginning to wonder if he'll ever choose just one woman to be with for the rest of his life."

"What about Hoss?"

"The right woman hasn't realized yet what a treasure he would be as a husband and father. The woman who knows that will be the one for him."

"You sound like you would like to help Hoss find someone."

"No, he can do it on his own, I'm sure, but he has to get more self confidence. Too often he thinks less of himself because of things people say."

"I can only guess what those things are, but he is the kindest, gentlest man I know, and he has the most beautiful eyes. He has been so considerate of me. I wish he had someone."

"I'm glad I got you first. It sounds like you could fall in love with Hoss."

"I could have except my heart was lost to you already."

A little embarrassed by that, Adam suggested they go to the dance. Soon he and Merry were dancing around the hall. There were all sorts of whispers and stares as people tried to get a good look at her ring. Her sister Charlotte was there and walked by at one point and said she heard congratulations were in order. Charlotte was married to a very quiet reserved man who hardly ever said a word. They had only one child. Charlotte never seemed to smile and her husband was even more dour. Merry rarely talked with her sister, and Adam asked her why she thought that was true.

Merry had no ideas other than to say it seemed to start about the time that Charlotte had gotten married and had a baby. They had been close it but had grown apart, and then Charlotte pretty much ignored her. After dancing for quite a while, Adam wanted to go outside to cool down. He grabbed their jackets and the two of them stepped outside.

"Are you thirsty?" At Merry's nod, Adam decided to get them some punch. "Stay right here and I'll be back with two cups in a moment. Except when he got back, Merry wasn't there. There were several other couples standing and talking quietly so Adam asked if they had seen which direction she had gone. About the time he got the answer that her angry father had dragged her off, he heard a scream, dropped the punch glasses, and ran to help Merry because that terrified scream was hers. He heard her father's threats before he reached the two of them.

"You'll do as I say, or I'll take a switch to you. You're mine, and I get to say who gets you. Waverly wants you so you're going to do whatever he wants."

"No, never."

Slapping Merry, and grabbing her, her father pushed her up against the side of the building. "You'll do as I say or I'll break your neck right here."

The next sound he heard was a pistol cocking at his head and a cold voice. "Release her, and don't do anything else at all. I want to shoot you very much and I still might."

Merry was released by her father but Adam kept the pistol pressed against her father's head. Roy arrived about that time followed by most of the people from the dance including Hoss and Joe. "Now don't you do nothing, boy. I know you want to, but you can't. I'd hate to lock you up, but that's what would happen ifn you pull that trigger. Now Adam nothing he done here is enough to shoot a man in the head."

"It's not just tonight. He's a depraved sick man who takes whatever he wants. Well, not any more."

Shaking, Merry's father, who had wet himself when he heard that pistol cock, became belligerent and cocky with the sheriff there. "Sheriff, this man has threatened my life because I was disciplining my daughter. I want him arrested."

"Now you just keep your mouth shut. First I gotta convince him not to shoot you in the head, even if I think you probably deserve it."

"What?"

"Well, you see I've known Adam Cartwright since he was a young boy. He's got quite a sense of justice and fair play. Ifn he thinks you ought to be executed, well then, I think he's probably got a darn good reason, but I don't want him to hang so I'm doing my best to get him to back down. So ifn you was to keep your mouth shut, that would help. Now Adam, what's it gonna be? You know I can't let you do this."

"Adam, don't. It's not worth it. I need you. I love you. You said you wanted to marry me. Well we can't do that if you shoot him. It's probably time I told people what he did, and what Waverly did so no other girls become victims."

Mr. Waverly was standing in the crowd with his wife and objected. "Now, see here, that trollop should not be allowed to besmirch the reputations of her father and of me just because she's trying to cover that she was a whore before she left here."

"If I was a whore, it was because my father took me, and then gave me to you to pay the mortgage."

Adam dropped the pistol from Merry's father's head and put it back in his holster. She had just wounded him mortally with her words.

"I never did anything of the kind, and Waverly is innocent too. You're a liar!"

"No, she isn't. You did it to me too and then forced me into a marriage I didn't want to cover the fact that I was with child. Luckily the man I married is a good man, and I have been very lucky in that regard." For the first time that anyone could remember, Charlotte's husband kissed her in public. The mood of the crowd grew ominous though as they realized the import of what the two sisters had said. Adam took Merry by the arm to guide her away from there when he heard Roy shout, and he whirled and drew on Merry's father who had a derringer in his hand and had meant to shoot Adam or Merry. They would never know because Adam's shot hit him square in the chest as did shots from Joe and Hoss. His lifeless body lay against the building. Roy looked over at Waverly.

"Mr. Waverly, I suggest you find another town to live in because you ain't welcome in this town no more. Now I'll send a deputy with you, but you're packing up and leaving tonight. I can't guarantee your life unless you do as I say. Your wife can make her own decision as to what she wants to do."

"Sheriff, will you send someone to tell our mother?"

Wondering why one or both of the daughters wasn't going to do that, Roy agreed to send a deputy to tell her. Charlotte walked over to her younger sister.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was doing it to you too until they sent you away. I guess they couldn't find anyone to force into marriage with you. I should have talked to you but I was only two years older, and Papa told me it was my fault, and so did Mama. Until you said something, I had told no one except Dwayne. I am happy for you that you found someone to love."

"Thank you, Char. Will you come to my wedding?"

With her sister's agreement, a lot was healed between them. Now each would have someone to lean on besides a loving husband. They each understood what had happened to them better than anyone else could. Roy asked what they wanted done with the body. They shrugged, and Adam told Roy he would pay for the basic burial fees. Hoss and Joe came up to their brother and his fiancée then.

"Dadburnit, Adam, you do seem to find ways to ruin a good night for me. I had a nice gal dancing and talking with me, and then I heard you was out here ready to kill somebody."

"Hoss, if you look behind you, I think she may still be interested in spending some time with you."

Looking back to the social hall, Hoss saw his new lady friend waiting. She smiled when she saw him look her way. Hoss hurried off in that direction without another word. Joe also gave his goodbyes and headed off to see if his lady friend was still waiting for him. The crowd slowly dispersed.

"How about if we go back to the boardinghouse and talk in the parlor. You know Clementine wants to know all about tonight anyway. You don't have to talk about this part if you don't want to."

"No, I think I'll tell her everything. She really is very nice and understanding. There have been too many secrets. I want to clear the air and make a fresh start with you."

Adam offered his arm, and they walked back to the boardinghouse as strains of music started up in the social hall, and the undertaker arrived with his wagon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"You're very quiet. What are you thinking now?" Adam moved closer to Merry on the settee in the boardinghouse so that she could answer without being overheard by Clementine Hawkins who had gone to the kitchen for more tea.

Merry leaned toward him so he could put an arm around her. "I'm feeling guilty that my father is dead, and I'm feeling guilty that I don't feel bad about him being dead at all. There's no sadness, just relief that it seems it's finally over."

"Does that surprise you?"

"Yes, I guess it does because I came back to Virginia City to see if my parents would accept me, forgive me, whatever. None of that happened. They acted like they always did, and I still find it hard to believe that my father thought he could force me to do that again."

"Waverly was there, and you heard what he said about him. I suspect your father was in financial trouble again and was going to try to use the only method he seemed to know to get out of it. When you weren't agreeable, he was furious. He probably heard that I gave you a ring tonight. It must have made him desperate."

"And what about Char? Now everyone knows who the father of her baby really might be, and it's not her husband."

"It's not that unusual to have some skeletons in the family closet. She'll work it out. We should schedule a time to get together with them, and let the two of you get reacquainted and for the rest of us to get to know one another. You have a nephew I have never met."

"I hardly know him. He was just a baby when I left. He wasn't even two years old yet."

"What about your mother? Do you want to see her?"

"Yes and no. I wish my mother loved me and wanted me to be part of the family, but I find I can't forgive her for what she did. She blamed me for my father's actions. I would think she should have blamed him and blamed herself for allowing it to happen. To know that it happened to Char, and then she still acted that way when I told her makes me almost want to hate her. She may be the only mother I have, but I think I could do without."

"If your father was in financial trouble, then it's going to be even more difficult for your mother who has no job. Do you want me to help her out?"

"I may change my mind, but right not, no, I don't want you to help her. Let her get a job, any job she can get, and live in a rooming house, and make do with very little if it comes to that. She wasn't at all concerned about my well-being so I really have no good feelings left for her. She had so many chances to do the right thing, and obviously always chose not to."

"I know you're sad, but will you be all right tonight? I've got a room at the hotel, and it's getting late so I should head there now if you think you'll be all right on your own now."

"I'm not alone. I'm sure Mrs. Hawkins will be here if I need her."

Clementine came in with a fresh pot of tea at that point. Adam suspected she had been listening and waiting for the right moment to reappear. He stood and pulled Merry up with him. Kissing her on the cheek, he whispered that he loved her. Grabbing his hat and jacket, he turned for parting comments. "Sleep well if you can, and I'll be here by eight to walk with you to church services. Is that all right?"

Assuring Adam that she would be fine, Merry shared a cup of tea with Clementine and some light conversation before going to bed where she slept fitfully. So much had happened and her mind was having a difficult time sorting it all out. She knew it might take a few days or more to accept all the changes that were happening. In the morning, Adam was there promptly because he was always on time. The weather had turned cold and blustery so he encouraged Merry to wear her heavy coat over her jacket. He had a long duster on over his coat. Pushing his hat down tightly on his head, he opened the door and took Merry by the arm guiding her down the street at a fast pace. As they entered the church a short time later, Adam took their coats into the cloakroom. In the narthex, unfortunately, Merry was greeted by her mother.

"How dare you show your face in God's house after getting your father murdered. You set him up perfectly for that."

"I didn't do anything. He did it all to himself."

"And I suppose you didn't do anything for Cartwright there either to get those expensive gifts and the clothes he bought you. And then you got him to shoot your father so you must have done something to pay him for that. I know what you did for him. Can you deny it?"

Unfortunately for Merry, she couldn't lie and say she had never had sex with Adam because of course they had. She stood silent, but Adam was in a fury.

"How dare you make any accusations? You let your daughters be abused for years and did nothing. What kind of a mother allows that to happen in her house?"

"Adam, we should go. This shouldn't be happening in church."

"Merry, this shouldn't be happening anywhere. Your mother needs to apologize or she should be the one to leave."

Looking around for sympathy, Merry's mother found none. By then almost everyone in town had heard the stories. Most of the women there were mothers and would have fought like a she-bear to protect their children. They could not accept that a mother knew of her children being so badly abused and looking the other way. Their looks of condemnation were all too obvious as Merry's mother looked around. Char and Dwayne entered the church then and she looked to them.

"Charlotte, you won't believe what Meredith has been saying to me. Please tell her that she needs to ask my forgiveness."

"No, mother, she doesn't. You do." For the first time in her life, Char stood up to her mother. She and Dwayne had talked a lot the night before. They were planning to move to California as soon as they could to get a fresh start. Char simply told Dwayne they needed to come back for Meredith's wedding, and he had agreed. "Dwayne has relatives in Stockton. We're moving there as soon as we can with our son. We need to get away from all the bad memories here. You can do whatever you want, but you are not coming with us."

"But I can't make the payments on the house. What will I do?"

Merry looked directly at her mother. "Get a job, any job you can get, and try to make it on the small amount of money you will earn. I had to do that for years. It's your turn."

Dejected and forlorn with her bravado shattered and her guilt over what she had done, Merry's mother turned to leave the church.

"Margaret, I don't think you should go." Adam was very direct with her. "If anyone needs to be in church praying to God today, it's you. Go in. I'm sure the reverend will have some words for you."

Turning in confusion, Merry looked at Adam waiting for an explanation.

"You need to find a way to forgive her. You can't carry that hate in your heart like that. It'll eat you up. Both of you need to find a way to forgive her. You don't have to forget, and the other things you said are both valid. But don't let hate eat into your hearts. Let's go in now so we can all find a way to accept what we cannot change."

The minister was coming out into the narthex because of what he had overheard there. "Adam, you trying to take my job away? Ladies, I think what he said is the right thing now. Find it in your hearts to forgive her no matter what she does. Forgive her for your own sake, and forgive your father too. He's getting his reward for his behavior from his Maker. Don't let the evil that was done live on. Let it go and let it turn to dust." He saw their disbelieving looks. "It will be difficult to do, but it will help you heal too."

Ben, Hoss, and Joe walked in at that point. Seeing the serious looks of everyone there, they had to ask what had happened. Once that story was told, Ben concurred with Adam and the minister. He also had a comment about what had happened the night before.

"Adam, I'm not glad that he's dead, but I am glad he didn't shoot Merry or you. You have enough scars already."

"He certainly does." Merry realized what she had said after she said it. She blushed as Adam smiled that little crooked smile of his. There were snickers in the crowd and Joe's was one of the loudest ones. Even Charlotte was smiling at her sister. Adam wrapped an arm around Merry's shoulders and turned her toward the church sanctuary.

"I think we ought to go in before there's any more said here."

The minister had hurriedly reworked his sermon for that morning. He started with a reading from Isaiah. "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." And he finished an hour later with a passage from Matthew. "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."

When the service ended, Merry leaned against Adam's shoulder for a while. Ben sat beside them. "Adam, the clouds are building over the mountains again. It looks like we may be in for a lot of snow. We should be heading for home soon."

"I don't want to leave Merry alone after all that's happened."

"Perhaps, Merry would like to come stay with us for a week or two? Under the circumstances, I'm sure that people would understand."

Leaning and looking down at Merry, Adam used his finger to lift her chin so he could see her face. "How does that sound to you?"

"I'm so embarrassed though. What must people think of me?"

"They're probably remembering what it was like to be betrothed and in love. Now, why don't we go to the boardinghouse and pack a bag for you. You can tell your sister where you'll be, and we can have you back here in a week if the weather permits."

Once Merry had her bag, she and Adam sat in the back of the sleigh with Joe as Hoss and Ben sat in the front. Adam pulled a blanket over their legs, as Ben did the same in the front for he and Hoss. The wind made it seem even colder, but dressed in their heavy coats, and sitting up against another person, they were all warm enough. All five of them were looking forward to lunch and hoping Hop Sing had made some hearty soup for they would need something like that by the time they arrived home. As Hoss snapped the reins, the team started out at a fast pace to get them there as quickly as possible. As they left and became smaller and smaller until they disappeared from view, an angry woman stood watching and plotting her revenge.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Adam, I only want you to be careful. Merry has a lot to worry about now, and I think you need to make sure there is no more that she has to deal with before your wedding."

"Pa, what happens between Merry and me is really our decision."

"You never do listen to me when I give you advice."

"I do listen, but when I disagree with you, you say I'm not listening. Disagreeing and not listening are two distinctly different reactions."

"I only want the best for you."

"Pa, I know that, but I need to make my own decisions based on my own thoughts. What would you have done if your father had been out here telling you how to build the Ponderosa?"

"Well, I would have listened to him."

"And then done it your way."

Ben couldn't help it. Adam had pegged him exactly with that one. He smiled. "Yes, and then I would have done it my way. I'm just so very concerned about Merry. I know she has suffered through some terrible things. I only want her to be able to heal and move on with her life."

"Pa, you have to believe me when I tell you that she is. She is amazingly resilient and strong. Just think of what she has survived already, and she still has spirit and kindness in her. She is exactly the kind of person I need. I love her very much, and I would never do anything to make things harder for her."

"I trust you, son. You made a good choice with that one. She's going to keep your life interesting and challenging though. I hope you have the energy for her."

On the first night that Merry was back on the Ponderosa, Ben couldn't sleep. When he came downstairs to get something warm to drink, he had found Adam and Merry in a passionate embrace on the settee. They had gone up to their bedrooms when he interrupted them. Then the night before, with the storm still raging outside, Ben was going to come downstairs again but halted at the top of the stairs when he saw Merry sitting on Adam's lap and the two were kissing passionately again. He had gone back to his room and didn't sleep well at all. So on this morning, he wanted to get Adam to tone down his behavior with her. The conversation did not accomplish anything other than letting Adam know that his father had likely seen them the night before. They had not made love, but they certainly had been intimate. They enjoyed their time together and found it was difficult not to touch and kiss when they were alone.

Wondering how much his father had seen, Adam thought probably not much based on his relatively mild rebukes but had likely and correctly guessed the rest. It was just that whenever Adam was near Merry now, he wanted to kiss her and hold her. He wanted her so much all the time. They were planning some work in the snow for the day so that would help. They needed to get some of the snow off the roofs and shovel paths to the stable. Then there would be all the chores that needed doing as well. What the cold didn't do to cool his ardor, the hard work would. He was thinking that by the time he was ready for bed, sleep might be all he would be thinking about. Then he smiled for he knew that wouldn't be true. Ben looked over at him and had a pretty good idea what was going on in his mind.

After breakfast, the three sons dressed for snow removal. The roof was first, and Adam and Hoss volunteered for the duty because both knew Joe's distaste for heights. Hoss was the anchor for a rope around Adam's waist. The recent warm weather had created some icy spots on the roof of the house that were now covered with snow and undetectable until you slid on them. Several times Adam fell but Hoss made sure he didn't go anywhere. Adam had tied a small rope to the shovel and secured it to his wrist so he wouldn't have to worry about that either. Inside, Ben and Merry heard several thumps from the rooftop.

"What's that?"

"Probably Adam slipping and falling."

"What!"

"No, no, don't worry, Merry. Hoss will have a safety line on him to make sure nothing bad happens. They've done this a number of times before."

"But why doesn't Joe do it? He's a lot lighter."

"Joe doesn't like heights. He's probably shoveling paths to the stable and later to the woodpile. The hands will take care of the bunkhouse and the other outbuildings as needed."

There was a lot of snow to move, and it was lunchtime before most of the work with the snow was done. Adam invited Merry to join them in the stable as they groomed the animals and fed them. He told her she could help.

"But I don't know how to do any of that."

"You did once. You'll remember soon enough. If you're going to be living on a ranch, you need to know these things."

"We're going to be living here?"

"Well we need to talk about that and about when we're getting married. We need to set a date."

As they dressed and walked to the stable, Adam and Merry discussed the other questions they would need to answer. When Merry suggested June as a nice month to get married, Adam groaned and his brothers laughed. They knew exactly why he groaned, and although they sympathized with him on that, it was funny too. They guessed they had about four months to tease him about it.

"April is a good month too. Spring and all the flowers starting to bloom."

"Now Adam, don't you try to talk your fiancée out of that June wedding. Joe and I understand completely why she wants it then. April and May can have some right cold days, but June is always so nice." Hoss grinned at Adam who threw him a scowl. Soon Joe and Hoss were laughing, and Merry had a pretty good idea why. She had not considered that when she picked a date.

"Adam, perhaps we could get married in April and then have a party to celebrate when the weather is nicer in June?"

With a smirk directed at his brothers, Adam agreed that Merry's plan was fine with him. Then they got busy grooming the horses, mucking out stalls, getting hay down from the loft, and making sure the ice in the water buckets was removed. With all the work and the animals in the stable, it seemed reasonably warm in there. All of them took off their heavy coats as they worked. Adam found a problem in Sport's halter so he removed it, replaced it with another, and sat on a bale of hay working at fixing the damaged one. With the work done, Merry sat next to him as Hoss and Joe retrieved their coats to head to the house.

"It is warm in here."

Looking down at Merry, Adam had some idea what she was thinking. "It's even warmer in the tack room if we fire up the stove that's in there. We do that sometimes when we need to work on bridles or saddles and such when it's cold out."

"I probably need to be reminded how to take care of all of that tack. Perhaps we could spend some afternoons in the tack room working on my education."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. But there will be no more working on your education in the house. I think Pa almost walked in on us last night. He made a few remarks that led me to think he had some idea what we were doing."

"I wish you could just come to my room. I loved the night you spent there sleeping by my side. It seems so lonely now to go to bed."

"Merry, would you be offended if I asked you to marry me now?"

"You already asked me to marry you."

"No, I mean to get married now. We can still have a big party in June, but I miss not being with you too. We could have just a small ceremony here at the house with your sister and her family, and perhaps Roy and Paul."

"Adam, that sounds wonderful. I only said April before because you had mentioned that. Now would be wonderful. Then we only have to behave ourselves for days instead of weeks or months."

For the next several days, Adam and Merry spent a lot of time working on the tack. No one went to bother them because they didn't want to embarrass themselves or the couple by walking in on them. That all changed on Friday. The February sun had been melting a lot of the snow. Roads were passable, and the Ponderosa had a guest, but he had some gruesome news. After Hoss went to find Adam and Merry at Roy's request, they all gathered in the great room. It was clear from Roy's demeanor that he did not want to have to say what he was going to say.

"Merry, Adam, there just ain't no easy way to say this. There was fire last night, Merry, at your sister's house. It burned plum clear to the ground before we could do anything about it. Now your nephew, Andrew, is over to Doc Martin's place. He's got some minor burns on his hands and feet but nothing serious. He got out by climbing out his window and sliding down the porch roof into the snow. If there hadn't a been snow on that roof, I don't know if he coulda gotten outta there before the fire got to him. That porch roof was right above where the fire burned hottest. Merry, I am so sorry to have to tell you that your sister and her husband perished in that fire."

Knowing those words were coming didn't help Merry accept them. She sagged back into Adam's embrace, and he helped her sit on a chair. "What happened?"

"We don't rightly know. The fire coulda started from the fireplace or from a lamp, but the fire started up in the hours just before dawn. Now that's pretty odd, and I have no ideas at this point. I tried to tell your mother what happened, but I have to tell ya, she's done buried herself in a bottle since Sunday. She couldn't even understand what I was telling her."

"Roy, what's going to happen to Drew?"

"Well, Adam, now that's the other thing. I can't hardly let him live with his grandmother seeing as how she's been drinking so much. I was wondering if you had room for him out here seeing as how Merry is his only other relative?"

Looking to his father for an answer, Adam held a quietly sobbing Merry in his arms. Ben answered Roy. "Of course, he can come here. When will he be ready to travel?"

"Well, today, actually. Doc said he's just got some minor burns, and we know Hop Sing can handle that as well as any doctor. Ifn Merry and Adam was to come to town with me, we could get the proper papers signed, and then he could come back here with them."

"Hoss, could you come with us? I think I might need some help."

Hoss nodded immediately at the unaccustomed request for help from his older brother. "I'll go hitch up the carriage right now."

Ben agreed but added a caveat. "Joe can help and then the two of you can saddle up our horses. We'll all go."

The ride to town was quiet. There didn't seem to be anything to be said that could help. Adam drove the carriage with Merry by his side. She wrapped an arm around his as he drove and rested her head against his shoulder. Adam kept a blanket across their legs for warmth, but it was a mild day for February. In town, Adam and Merry went directly to the doctor's office. Ben and Hoss went to the undertaker to make sure that arrangements were made. Ben then went to their minister to ask for his assistance as Hoss went to the burned out house. Joe was already there and walking around.

"Hoss, what do you make of this?"

"Looks like a woman walked this way and then back again the same way. Her feet sank in further on the way to the house than on the walk away. Wonder why that is?"

"I might have an answer for you. Look over here. It's still too hot to get in there and grab them, but what do those two things look like to you?"

"They look like syrup or oil cans."

"Can you smell it when you stand right here?"

Hoss looked at Joe and grimaced. "When do you reckon we oughta tell Roy and Adam that this fire was set with coal oil?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Roy, can't you arrest her?"

"On what, Adam? A woman's tracks leading to the house and away? Coal oil tins in the bedroom? How is that evidence that Margaret did anything?"

"You know she did it. There's no one else who would hate Charlotte that much."

"You forget that Andrew was in that house too. Now, ifn she wanted her daughter dead so bad, would she risk her only grandchild to do it? I don't think so."

"Well then, who else?"

"I don't rightly know, but I do think you ought to get your lady back out to the Ponderosa where she's safe, Andrew too, and let me do my job."

Frustrated and angry, Adam let his father lead him from the sheriff's office. The revelations from Joe and Hoss had only fueled the suspicion that he already had about Merry's mother. His father tried to calm him down.

"Adam, Roy will do his best. Hoss and Joe are already taking more of a look at that house and seeing if they can follow those tracks and maybe find something else. But right now you have a woman and a boy who need you. Don't forget, that if Charlotte was a target, then Merry probably is too and so are you. You need to get those two in that carriage and back home as soon as you can. Now we made all the arrangements for the funeral tomorrow. We'll be back for that and you can talk to Roy again to see if he's uncovered anything by tomorrow."

Not wanting to give up but recognizing the wisdom of his father's advice, Adam nodded. He and Ben walked back to the doctor's office where Merry had been trying to console Andrew whom she hardly knew. When Adam entered the office, he stood and watched as Merry talked softly with the young boy. Drew could hardly be expected to understand what had happened to him. Adam thought back to the loss of Inger and then of Marie. He wondered how he would have reacted if his father had died too. He couldn't even imagine that scenario because it was too difficult to contemplate. Yet he knew it happened fairly often out in the west to children just like Drew except living in Virginia City, no one had probably thought to prepare him for that possibility. No one would have expected murder. Once Drew stopped crying, Adam moved forward to sit beside him.

"Drew, we want you to come with us to the Ponderosa. We'll be back in town tomorrow for funerals, but you have a place with us if you want it. I know that you wish your parents were still here for you, and it hurts like nothing else that they aren't. But we will do our best for you. You need to tell us what you want to do."

"Can I stay with grandma?"

Pausing for just a moment, Merry answered. "Your grandma is sick right now. This has been a big shock to her too, and she's much older than you. She needs time to be by herself, and get things right in her mind."

"Will she be at the funerals tomorrow?"

"I don't think so, Drew. But Adam and I will be there, and so will his brothers and his father. Sheriff Coffee and the doctor will be there too probably."

"Aunt Merry, I don't have any clothes. They all got burnt up in the fire."

"We'll stop at the mercantile to get you some clothes. You can't wear that nightshirt in this weather. We'll get you everything you need." Merry looked up at Adam to be sure she was saying the right thing. He nodded at her so she knew he supported her in that.

"Drew, you have some burns on your feet and hands, and the streets are rather muddy too. Would it be all right with you if I carried you over to the mercantile?"

"But everyone will see me in my nightshirt."

"We have a blanket in the carriage. I could wrap that around you."

"Thank you. That would be nice. I'm kinda cold anyway."

Adam took off his coat and wrapped it around the boy as Ben went outside to get the blanket. When he returned, Drew asked if he could keep the coat around him because it made him feel so warm. Merry was going to say that Adam needed his coat, but Adam shook his head at her.

"You certainly can, Drew. I'll let you wear it around you until we get to the store and get one for you. Will that work for you?"

"Yes, Uncle Adam, that would be nice."

Wrapping the blanket around Drew so that he was covered from neck to toes, Adam picked him up and carried him to the mercantile. There, he ad Merry helped Drew pick out boots, pants, socks, long johns, shirts, coat, hat, and gloves. Adam had a small bag of hard candies added to the stack of goods on the counter. Merry selected items for Drew to wear that day, and the owner let him use the store room to dress. He came out carrying Adam's coat and with a small smile.

"My feet don't hardly hurt at all in these boots."

"That's why we got them a little big. You'll grow into them anyway. Once your feet heal and the bandages come off, you can wear two pairs of socks until the boot fit you better."

"Two pairs of socks will be warmer too. I like the way you think, Uncle Adam."

Ben had gone to collect Hoss and Joe so that by the time Adam and Merry exited the store with Drew, they were there waiting for them. Adam put Drew in the carriage to sit between him and Merry with all of their purchases in the back. He handed Drew the bag of hard candy and told him he could have one piece, and then offer some to the others. Hoss leaned over to grab a peppermint stick when Drew offered him the candy. Once they were well out of town, Joe and Hoss rode ahead to alert Hop Sing and get a guest room ready for Drew.

After dinner that evening, Adam sat on the settee with Drew on one side and Merry on the other. He did his best to soothe each one and keep their minds off their losses. As it got late, he suggested that Drew might want to go to bed, but Drew countered that Adam should read to him to help him get to sleep. Taking the young boy by the hand, Adam walked up the stairs with him and grabbed a book from his room. As they had walked up the stairs, Ben had gotten a tear in his eye for so long he had wanted to see one of his sons walking up the stairs with a child. This was a very poignant moment for him. Adam came downstairs only briefly about an hour later to walk Merry to her room. She had been sitting very still and quiet on the settee ever since Adam had walked Drew upstairs. When she stood after taking Adam's hand, she leaned into him for a hug. He walked her up the stairs with his arm around her waist.

As Hoss and Joe began turning down the lamps, Ben added two large logs to the fire and set up the fire screen in front of the fireplace. It was much too cold to let the fire go out. In addition each of them would have a small fire in the fireplaces in their bedrooms and Hop Sing would have the stove in the kitchen hot all night. For safety, Adam wanted to replace all of the fireplaces upstairs with small Franklin stoves. After what had happened the night before in town, Ben was thinking more and more that that was a good idea. He planned to talk to Adam about it after all the turmoil had calmed down.

Once again, Ben had trouble falling asleep and got out of bed to go get a cup of hot chocolate which always seemed to help him sleep. As he passed Adam's door, he realized it was part way open. He looked inside and was amazed and quite surprised. Drew must have come into Adam's room for comfort and was snuggled up against Adam who had his arm protectively around the boy. But on the other side of the bed, Merry was wrapped in a blanket and sleeping with her head on Adam's shoulder. Polite society would have frowned on such a sleeping arrangement, but Adam always put the needs of his loved ones ahead of what anyone else would think. Ben pulled the door almost closed and went downstairs for his hot chocolate. The next morning at breakfast, he said nothing about what he had seen. Adam had come downstairs with Drew and Merry. By Adam's furtive look at him, Ben suspected Adam knew he had seen the three in bed together. When Ben said nothing about it though, Adam relaxed. It was going to be a difficult enough day and Adam was relieved that he would not have to deal with any criticism from his father.

By nine, the whole family was dressed and ready to head to town for the funeral. Ben had paid some men extra to make sure that graves would be dug even with the snow and ice. He didn't want any more problems for his son and his fiancée. Hopefully the funeral would proceed quickly and allow Merry and her nephew the closure that they needed without undue stress. The ride to town proceeded without mishap, and there were many friends at the funeral service which was a comfort to Merry and Drew. In the cold, they all walked to the cemetery and watched as the wooden caskets were lowered into the side-by-side graves. There was a large marker there which would be carved when the weather was warmer. Nearby was the grave of Merry's father marked only by a simple wood plaque with his name. She looked up to heaven and prayed that there would be no more sadness for her and for Drew. She heard a gasp, and turned to see her mother staggering up to the cemetery. Roy moved to intercept her.

"Margaret, you shouldn't be here in this condition."

"Sheriff, I haven't had a drink yet today. It's just what I've been doing since my husband was killed makes me shake all over. Meredith, I just wanted to say I was sorry. I never meant for anything bad to happen to you or your sister. I was just so upset when he was killed, I didn't know what I was saying. Please forgive me. I lost your sister already, and I don't want to lose you."

Surprised by what Margaret was saying, Adam looked to Merry who looked equally confused. This was not what they expected to hear from the woman they thought had set the fire. Seeing her unsteady walk also made them wonder how she could possibly have done it. Hoss and Joe had the same question. Whoever had walked up to Charlotte's house had been purposeful and direct. This staggering woman could not have done it. Of course they didn't know if she was like this over twenty-four hours previously, but it did seem quite odd. Merry had to respond for the whole crowd was silent and waiting.

"Mama, we can talk, but not today. Today I have to be most concerned with Drew, and I think this has been quite a lot for him to handle already. Go back home. I'll try to come see you in the next day or two. Why don't you let the sheriff walk you home now?"

"All right. I don't want to cause any more trouble. I just had to pay my respects to my daughters. Please, remember to come see me so I can apologize proper." With that, Roy led her away and Doctor Martin broke away from the crowd to go with them. Adam led Merry and Drew to the carriage and helped them up onto the seat. He drove out of town with all sorts of questions in his mind. His father and brothers rode out behind the carriage to make sure the three reached home safely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Merry, we should think about getting married as we planned." It was a week after the funerals for Charlotte and Dwayne. Drew was settling in on the Ponderosa although he was very withdrawn and quiet much of the time as he dealt with his grief.

"Adam, how can we do that to Drew. To have a celebration like that when he's so sad. It just doesn't seem right."

"Life proceeding normally could help him a lot. When I lost my mothers, it was a relief to have something to do. Having a wedding to look forward to might help him more than anything."

"Adam, right now all he wants to do is to be around you. He follows you everywhere. Don't you think that it might bother him to have us together and away from him?"

"We won't be going anywhere for a while with the weather the way it's been. I just want to go back to our plan to marry and then have the party in June. I still think that's a reasonable plan."

"It just seems so selfish to me."

"Maybe it is a little, but you have every right to do something for yourself too. You lost your sister, and we still haven't been to town to talk with your mother. When we went there four days ago, she was too drunk to talk."

"How has she been getting that brandy anyway? Roy says she never leaves the house as far as he can tell. Some ladies from church bring her food and leave it on the porch after knocking on the door. I guess they have mixed feelings about her too. In some ways, I'm so angry with her, and in other ways, I feel sorry for her. I think she did what my father wanted because she had this idea that a wife was supposed to do whatever her husband said. She told me once that was in the Bible. Even then, she was trying to justify her actions. She must have carried a lot of guilt all these years."

"And shame hopefully, but you don't think she started that fire either, do you?" At Merry's nod, Adam leaned back against the stable wall and thought a bit before speaking. "That makes it much more of a danger to all of us. We have no good idea who is behind this now. Do you think your mother could have hired someone?"

"I think she might have been willing to do that but she has no money, and the house is mortgaged as much as possible. How could she pay someone?"

Having thought about that too, Adam was stymied wondering who would hate Charlotte and Dwayne enough to kill them, and then he wondered if that same person did want to cause harm to Merry and to him. As he and Merry had finished the chores they set out to do, they headed back to the house. Up on the hill looking down at the yard, the person they had not yet suspected was just settling in under some evergreens. Grabbing a rifle when the couple walked to the house, the would be assassin wasn't able to aim before they went into the house. Laying the rifle down, she got busy preparing to spend the day waiting for an opportunity for one or both of her targets to reappear.

As Adam prepared to open the front door of the house, Merry put a hand on his arm to stop him. "You're right. I should be thinking of you and of us too. Let's see if your father thinks it's a good idea. I don't want to upset him."

"Merry, this should be our decision."

"It is, but I would like to know what he thinks about it too. It is his house after all."

Sighing, Adam nodded. When they went in the house, the first thing that happened though was that Drew ran to Adam for a hug. Normally, Adam was not a hugger, but it seemed if it was Drew or Merry that wanted or needed a hug, he was there ready and willing.

"Drew, Merry and I were talking about something important outside. We want to hear what you think and what Pa thinks."

Looking worried, Drew wrapped his arms around Adam's waist. "You're not sending me to town to live with Grandma, are you?"

Unwrapping Drew's arms from his waist, Adam knelt down to look him in the eye. "Drew, we told you that those papers we signed with Sheriff Coffee make you part of our family. It's the law, Drew. Now you know I would never go against the law, don't you."

"I just get scared, Uncle Adam. I don't want to be alone."

"I know, but you not only have me and Merry. Pa and my brothers are part of your family now too. You can always count on them too."

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Ben was listening intently too wondering but thinking he already had a fairly good idea of what he was going to hear.

"Merry and I want to get married soon with just the family and a few friends. Then in June when it's nice, we could have a big party to celebrate. What do you think about that?"

"If you get married, will you be my papa?"

"Drew, married or not, I would be proud to be your father. I can't replace your father, but I had three mothers so I think perhaps you could have two fathers."

"You had three mothers! What happened to them?"

"My mother died soon after I was born. My next mother was Hoss' mother, and she was killed by Indians as we traveled here. I was about seven then. My third mother was Joe's mother and she died in an accident when I was seventeen."

"So that's why there's no mother here?"

"Yes, but you would have Merry as your mother if you want us to be your parents instead of your aunt and uncle. It's up to you."

"Can I still love my old mama and papa too even if they're in heaven?"

"That would be wonderful. I can't imagine you not loving them."

"How can you love more than one father and more than one mother?"

"Lots of parents love more than one child. My father loves three sons, so why can't a son love more than one father? I loved three different mothers, each in a different way. Your heart will be as big as you let it be, and there's lots of love you can give to others, more than enough to love your parents in heaven and love others still on this earth."

Ben got teary eyed again for he had never been as proud of Adam as he was listening to him talk as a father to a seven-year-old boy. No one else in the room was talking, but all were listening intently as Drew tried to make sense of his new reality.

"All right, I think you and Merry should get married."

Joe started giggling then and soon Hoss joined in. Even Ben had a smile for that one.

"Why did they start laughing when I said that?"

"Because my brothers have very weird sense of humor. People often say that a man and woman should get married when they are going to have a baby."

"Are you and Merry going to have a baby?"

"Hopefully, at some point we will have a baby, but not right away."

Ben was waiting for the next line, and he was not disappointed. Joe rolled on the floor with laughter, and Hoss leaned back in the big red chair and roared.

"How will you and Merry have a baby? Nobody ever told me how people get babies."

"Son, you walked right into that one."

"Pa, perhaps you would like to take over on that question?"

"No, Adam, I'm more than happy to see how you handle it."

Looking at Merry for help, Adam could see she wasn't going to help either. "Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, and they kiss and are very nice to each other, ..."

"Hoss, Hoss, when they're 'very nice' to each other. Our older brother went to college to learn those fancy words, and that's all he's got. When they're 'very nice' to each other." Joe was laughing so hard it was difficult to understand him but not impossible. Adam scowled at him and then turned back to Drew.

"Perhaps we should talk about this at some time when they're aren't any rude brothers of mine in the vicinity."

Drew was agreeable. He didn't know why Joe and Hoss were laughing so much or why Adam was so upset with them. He figured it would be better some time when he got to talk with Adam more privately.

"Can I start calling you Papa now, or do I have to wait for the wedding?"

Pulling Drew into a hug, Adam told him in a hoarse voice that right then was perfect as far as he was concerned. He smiled at Drew who returned the smile. "Now, there's a lot of fresh snow outside and there are a couple of people I would love to hit with some snowballs. Are you ready for your first Cartwright snowball fight?"

That got everyone's attention, and there was a move to the front door and all the coats, hats, and gloves they would need. Almost as soon as they got outside, everyone ran to places to hide from flying snowballs. As they were dressing, Hoss described each of the brothers in a snowball fight. "I throw the biggest snowballs in the Sierras, Joe throws them faster than anyone. He's just like a Gatling gun except with snowballs instead of bullets, and Adam has the best aim especially for hitting people in the face with wet mushy snowballs."

"What about Mama?" Hoss almost choked up at that point but was able to answer. "We don't rightly know. This is her first Cartwright snowball fight too." When Drew asked about "Grandpa Ben", Hoss said he was too smart to play in the snow.

Up on the hill, a rifle was sighted in on the snowball fight participants, but every time the line of fire was clear, the target would move or duck down behind a pile of snow or other obstacle. Finally after about a frustrating hour, the targets went back into the house with everyone else. It was time to do more waiting.

Hop Sing knew what everyone would want and as they shucked off the coats, hats, and gloves, he set a tray with coffee and hot chocolate on the table by the fireplace. Within minutes, he was back with a plate of cookies. "Two for each, and Mister Hoss eat no more. I make roast pork for dinner."

It was warm by the fire and sipping the hot drinks, but when Joe stood to add wood to the fire, there wasn't any. He tried to sit quickly but Hoss wouldn't let him. "You know the rule. If you're the one who discovers we need wood, you're the one who gets it. Pa made that rule a long time ago, and it's still a good one."

"But my coat is all wet with those slushy snowballs Adam and Merry got me with."

Adam was helpful he thought. "Go ahead and wear my coat, Joe. It's hardly even damp with those tiny little snowballs you were throwing."

"Gee, thanks, Adam. You're so helpful." Joe shrugged on the tan barn coat and grabbed the bucket for wood before heading outside to the woodpile.

"Adam, you woulda been plenty wet if my giant snowball had found its mark. Dang, why did you have to duck down right at that second? Oh, and sorry, again, Merry for hitting you with that one. You do know that was meant for Adam, don't you?"

"All's fair in love and war, Hoss. The three of you never did tell me and Drew how seriously you take a snowball fight. Next time we'll be ready."

"Say, I wonder what's taking Joe so long to bring in a bucket of wood. Maybe I'll go give him a hand. We're gonna need some big pieces anyway."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Hey, Shortshanks, watcha doing laying in the snow? Thought you woulda had enough of that before." Suddenly Hoss saw the bloodstains in the snow and heard the panic in Joe's voice.

"Get down, get down. I'm shot and whoever did it is a hell of a shooter. I barely heard it, but I sure felt it."

Dropping down behind the woodpile with Joe, Hoss looked him over. "You hurt bad?"

"Bad enough. I think it's a through and through though. Got me up high. Luckily he only got one shot because I think he might have sighted in better on the next one."

"Where is he?"

"Far as I can tell, on top of that hill by those pines. Couldn't see anything but that's the general direction and there isn't much cover there except for those trees."

"I'm gonna go in the house through the side here and get some help. You just stay put."

"Hoss, I'm not about to go anywhere."

In the house, Hoss gave a quick synopsis to the others. Merry wanted to go help Joe, but Adam told her instead to go through the kitchen to tell Hop Sing and then through the washroom to the bunkhouse to tell the few hands that were there in the winter that they needed some help. Ben and Hoss grabbed some cloths and rifles and headed out the side door to help Joe. Adam grabbed a rifle and went upstairs to a window. He would have a perfect view of that hillside. If anyone took a shot, he would return fire. As he raced to the stairs, he saw how terrified Drew was.

"Drew, go in the kitchen with Hop Sing. You'll be safe there."

"I want to go with you."

It would take too much time to argue, so Adam signaled for him to run up the stairs with him, and then had him sit against the wall in Hoss' bedroom as Adam slowly opened the window so that he could aim to the grove of trees where they thought the gunman was. Adam watched and listened as he heard his father and Hoss get Joe into the house. There was no more gunfire and no movement from the hill. He waited for another fifteen minutes and then shut the window and closed the draperies before standing. He held out his hand to Drew who clutched it tightly.

Downstairs, Hop Sing and Merry were tending to Joe as Hoss and Ben stood by. There was quite a bit of blood, but Joe was conscious and Merry agreed with his assessment that it was a through and through. It had entered just under the collar bone and exited cleanly. No broken bones and nothing major hit. Unfortunately a lot of cloth had been driven into the wound and had to be cleaned out. Adam took Drew into the kitchen and had him sit at the table. He gave him a cup of water to sip, and could tell how frightened he was. What was impressive though was how calm Drew stayed through all the turmoil. Adam had him wait in the kitchen with him until Hoss came in to check on them.

"I want to get some hands and ride up that hill to start tracking the gunman."

"You're not going anywhere. Pa and me will go."

"Why not me?"

"Cause Joe was wearing your coat when he got shot. You know as well as everybody else does, that shot was meant for you."

"All the more reason that I ought to help catch the one who did it."

"Adam, that's just stupid. You're gonna go out there and give em another chance? You got Merry to think about and Drew. You got your own family now to protect too. You stay here with them and Joe. Pa and me will take some hands and go see what we can find out."

"That should be me out there in pain and losing blood. It's my fault."

"Now you're plumb wrong about that. It's the fault of whoever did the shooting. And you don't want to make it easy for em, do ya? Get your thinking straight and think about who coulda done this."

"Merry's mother always comes to mind, but I can't see her doing this. Otherwise, I don't know who would be so angry that they would want to kill. Another woman would be Mrs. Waverly or her daughter. I remember her daughter winning some shooting contests on the Fourth of July."

"I remember that too. She was right handy with a rifle. I'll mention it to Pa and maybe to Roy if we get near town."

After Hoss and Ben left with some hands to ride up the hill to see what they could find, Merry finished bandaging Joe. One hand had gone to town to get the doctor. Adam helped Joe up the stairs to his room, and then came downstairs to close all the shutters, and make sure the doors were locked. He handed Merry a small pistol and told her to put it in her skirt pocket. Then he and Merry sat with Drew by the fireplace and waited for the others to return.

Out on the hill where the shots had originated, Hoss found tracks from a woman's boot which surprised no one except that this woman had to be an excellent shot. All five men felt a little nervous being exposed out there until they found tracks heading toward town and apparently the horse had been going at a fast pace. Once they got on the road to Virginia City though, the tracks merged with all sorts of other tracks. The group headed to town anyway to ask around to see if anyone saw a woman riding into town recently, and then Ben and Hoss went to see Roy.

"Now what brings you two to town, not that I'm complaining cause it saves me a trip out to the ranch?"

"Roy, why were you coming out to the ranch?"

"Well, Margaret is missing. Some folks saw her two days ago carrying a long object wrapped in a blanket. I only found that out cause her house has been dark, and I stopped in to see if she was all right, and no one was there. So I started checking around, and that's when I found that out. No one has seen her since then."

"Someone took a shot at Joe today. He'll be all right, but he was wearing Adam's coat and that shot came from over a quarter mile away. Whoever shot him was an excellent marksman."

"Well now Margaret could handle a firearm, but I doubt she could hit anything more than a hundred feet away. You know as well as anyone here that her eyesight isn't so good. I mean it was all right, but not for shooting at someone from that far away."

"Adam mentioned Mrs. Waverly and her daughter. We all remember the daughter winning a shooting contest with a rifle on July Fourth. We don't know her well. She always seemed to be kind of standoffish."

"Well, I talked to Mrs. Waverly and she was as sweet as could be. Apologized and all for what her husband did. She's trying to sell the house and stuff they had here so she can get some money to move somewhere else. Says she can't go with her husband knowing what she knows now. And like you, I wondered about her daughter. Well it seems Waverly wasn't just after Charlotte and Meredith. His daughter said she was glad he was gone cause she don't have to worry none about him any more although apparently she threatened to shoot him if he touched her again so he hadn't been doing that lately."

"So, we're back to Margaret and the possibility that she is wearing glasses to see better or has someone helping her. And no one knows where she is?"

"That about sums it up."

As Ben and Hoss left the sheriff's office, the would be assassin watched them. She had seen a Ponderosa hand come for the doctor so she knew her first effort had failed, but what she had seen had given her another idea. She would put that plan into motion the next day if the weather was reasonable.

On the Ponderosa, Joe was in a lot of pain. He had thought that Merry and Hop Sing had thoroughly cleaned his wound but Doctor Martin disagreed and irrigated, poked, and prodded until he was sure it was completely free of debris so there would be little chance of infection.

"Don't let him use that arm for anything strenuous for at least four weeks. The collar bone is not broken but it is chipped so it's weakened. It should be treated just like a broken bone. Keep the arm in a sling for a week or two, and then only light activity gradually increasing until he gets normal functioning back."

The only one more relieved to hear that than Joe was Adam who was feeling a lot of guilt over what had happened. Merry too felt that she had brought harm to the family. Ben tried to reassure her that she was not to feel badly. Ben sat with Joe for hours until nearly ten, and Adam told him to get some sleep. Ben objected as he always did whenever someone tried to get him away from a sick or injured son. But Adam was persausive.

"I haven't done much of anything all day. I've been sitting in the house while you and Hoss went our searching and then to town. Hoss wouldn't even let me go to the stable to do chores. You get some rest, and I'll call you if there's any change. You know I've taken care of my brothers before, and I can do it again."

"You're going to need some sleep too."

"I'll wake Hoss later when I can't keep my eyes open any more. Besides, my bed is already full. Drew is sleeping there, and Merry laid down to rest and fell asleep too."

"It's amazing how fast that boy has taken to you." At Adam's upturned eyebrow, Ben had to add a caveat. "No, I mean he lost his parents so recently but has latched onto you as a father. I'm just surprised he was able to do that."

"Pa, I thought about that, and I remember when Inger was killed. I felt so alone, but I still had you. I've been thinking lately about how I would have felt if I had lost you too. That's Drew now. I'm a lifeline to him. He feels lost and needs someone to hang onto."

"Hey, it's all very interesting, but could a dying man please get some sleep. All that talking is interrupting my beauty sleep."

Adam rolled his eyes, and Ben chuckled as he headed to his bedroom. The night passed peacefully, and Adam didn't wake Hoss until nearly dawn. He guessed he would be indoors again all day and could grab a nap at some point. Ben came in to check on Joe just after the sun rose. Hoss was resting and looking out the window. He smiled as Ben came in.

"No fever to worry about. He's a little warm, but that's it."

The look of relief on Ben's face was palpable. He smiled at Hoss and nodded whispering that he would bring him some coffee as soon as Hop Sing could pour it.

"Could you bring a biscuit or something too? I'm powerful hungry this morning."

Drew ended up delivering the tray. Ben agreed with Adam that Drew needed things to do that were normal, and it also would help for him to see that Joe was feeling all right and would recover. Although Ben never wished harm to his sons, he was very glad it wasn't Adam lying in that bed. The gunman had likely aimed at the coat and not the man. Thinking that Adam was bigger, that bullet would have likely hit him lower. Ben had seen how Joe had hunched that coat up on his shoulders when he left the house. It had likely saved his life. Drew would have been devastated too if Adam had been hurt. Ben was already thinking of Drew was part of the family. In many ways, he was like Adam as a boy: smart, quiet, and full of questions. It was a good match.

Up on the hill where the shots had originated the day before, there were now several stacks of wood and pine cones soaked with coal oil among the trees. The plan was to light the fires and then ride fast to the other side of the ranch house. When they came to check out the fire and stop it if they could, she would be able to get into the house by the back door and her targets would be alone except for the cook. She was confident she could handle him and a wounded man. She still did not know that she had wounded Joe and not Adam. Just as she was about to start the fires, she saw Roy Coffee ride up to the ranch house. That complicated things. She decided to wait to see if he headed this way to take his own look around. If he headed this way, she would start the fires and continue her plan.


	12. Chapter 12

SourceURL:file:/localhost/Users/bettythaldorf/Desktop/Bonanza%20writing/R%20forum/Champagne%20Valentine%

**Chapter 12**

"They found her this morning. Widow Jenkins passed away in her sleep, and they was going to dig a grave for her, and they found her. She was laying on her daughter's grave. With all the snow we been having, no one realized she was there. It ain't like many people go to the cemetery in the winter months."

"What happened to her?" Merry had taken another blow finding that her mother had died as well. And Drew was crying softly in Adam's arms. He had lost his grandmother now.

"All we can really tell is it appears she died of the cold. She had a blanket and a rug. She musta laid down there and just gone to sleep. Who knows how she was thinking with all that drinking she's been doing. We found a letter she wrote. It was next to her on that blanket."

"What did the letter say, Roy? Did it explain anything?"

"Adam, the melting snow turned it into ink stained paper. I got it drying in my office but I don't rightly think we're gonna be able to read any of it. It was soggy when we found it. Took some time just to peel the pages apart."

"More than one page then?"

"Three pages folded. Seems to me that she was feeling a lot of guilt and shame, and she just couldn't take it no more, or maybe she just didn't understand what she was doing laying down to sleep next to her daughter. Now with what's been going on, I told the minister to go ahead and arrange a funeral for tomorrow, and ifn it's all right with you, I'll have everything in the house packed up and stored if that's what you want."

Looking over at Merry, Adam could see that she appreciated what Roy had done. "Thank you, Roy. That would be very nice."

"Now I'd like to take a look at that spot the shooter was at who shot Little Joe."

"I can take you up there, Roy. It's not far." Hoss went to grab his coat and hat. "I'll saddle up and meet you outside."

"Roy, would you like a cup of coffee to warm up while you wait?" So Roy settled into a chair and enjoyed some coffee while Hoss saddled Chubb. As a precaution, Hoss told the couple of hands that were there to saddle up too. He had gut feeling that something wasn't right.

In the house, Adam had a question for Roy for he had been thinking a lot about who could want him dead. It had to be someone who had a lot of hate or someone who was mentally unbalanced. Margaret had been unbalanced but she was dead. So he began thinking of others who could have been damaged by what Merry's father and Waverly had done. "Roy, when you were talking to Rebecca Waverly, did she mention who taught her how to shoot? I don't remember Waverly ever carrying a weapon."

"She said her mama did. She said her mother had been taught to target shoot by her father who was a hunter. Elaine Waverly's mother though forbid her to go hunting. She said she would never get a respectable husband if she did that. I heard a lot of that family history when I asked them just a few questions. Those two sure do like to talk."

"It seems to me that Elaine was angry quite often or at least looked like she was."

"I got that impression too, but now I can see why she would be. Musta been tough to know your husband preferred girls to you. I'm sure she knew it too. It was that same look Margaret had when I talked to her. They knew what was going on and didn't do nothing about it. All that anger, guilt, and shame has got to wear on a person."

Merry and Drew were sitting quietly. Adam watched them carefully to see if they needed anything. Suddenly there were shouts from outside. Ben and Roy rushed to the door.

"Pa, them trees up on the ridge are on fire. We gotta head up there and stop that before the fire crowns and spreads."

"Go, go. I'll saddle up and be right behind you. Grab blankets from the bunkhouse and shovels and forks from the stable. Hurry."

Within minutes, Hoss and the others were gone, and soon Ben was mounted up and riding up to the ridge too. Adam grabbed Joe's pistol and handed it to Merry.

"Do you still have the pistol I told you to keep in your skirt pocket?" At Merry's nod, he had further instructions. "Go up to Joe's room with Drew. Tell Joe everything that happened and give him his pistol. Then wait there until you hear me call you."

"Adam, what's wrong?"

"I think the fire may be a diversion. I want to be ready if it is. Now hurry."

Once Adam saw Merry and Drew turn the corner at the top of the stairs, he told Hop Sing to go in his room with his shotgun. They might be having company. Then Adam grabbed his pistol and stuck it in the back of his pants and then sat in the blue chair, leaned back, and closed his eyes. It didn't take long for him to discover that he had been correct. He opened his eyes when he heard sounds from the kitchen and then a rifle carrying woman stepped into the dining room.

"Hello, Becky. Well it does seem you learned how to use that weapon well, but not well enough."

Becky was shocked to see Adam sitting in the great room. She expected him to be wounded in bed.

"You thought you shot me. I can tell by the shocked look you have. Well, you shot Joe when he was wearing my jacket. Not very observant of you."

"You think you're so smart. Then why am I the one with the rifle and you're unarmed?"

"I guess you got me there. So what now? You're going to shoot me in my own home? What about witnesses?"

"Oh, you see that's another mistake you made. There aren't going to be any witnesses. At least none that anyone would believe because I'll make sure of that."

"Drew? You want Drew?"

"What is it to you? He's just my father's bastard son. You must have seen the resemblance. My mother did and so did I."

"What's going on, Becky? What is the grand scheme?" Adam was hoping to appeal to the pride he thought this young woman had. She seemed especially proud of her cleverness.

"I suppose I could tell you. You aren't going to tell anyone anyway. It was all about money, wealth. You should understand that. My mother and I were blackmailing my father and that other sick bastard. We told them we would tell everyone what they had done. I didn't know about those others until they weren't available any more, and then my own father came to me. I wasn't even ten years old. He said Charlotte and Meredith had been so nice to him and that he expected me to do the same. Well that lasted until mother taught me how to shoot. I said I'd shoot him if he touched me again. That's when Mama and Margaret and I came up with a plan. We got my father to siphon money out of accounts at the bank and into an account for Drew. He's just a boy and easy enough to manipulate. Then Margaret's husband was forging documents for us at the land office so we could call in loans on property. It was all set to go until you killed him and got my father banished."

"You intended to kill Charlotte and Dwayne all along then?"

"Of course. Margaret didn't know that of course but that way Margaret would get custody of the brat and be able to control all of his property. It's all the fault of this society where everything is set up for the males. Except you stepped in there too and took him out here. We need him back so we can get the property."

"But Margaret is dead."

"That damn cowardly drunk. She started feeling all guilty once we told her about the rest of the plan. She kept crying and begging us not to do it. Well Mama did it anyway, and then we just had to make sure we dropped off enough booze so she could forget about things. She's been drinking secretly for years."

"How could you get the court to give Drew to you?"

"My father will admit he was the father of that bastard, that's how we'll get the boy. We control my father with what we know so he'll do whatever we tell him. He's done things a lot worse than what you know. Once we have all the property, well then the boy is expendable too."

"Very clever except for shooting Joe instead of me. You do know he's in the house too, and Merry and Drew are with him upstairs."

"That's not true. You're lying because there is no way you knew I was coming here."

"I not only knew it, I planned for it. I wanted to hear what you had to say. Hop Sing is in his room with a shotgun, and Joe and Merry have pistols upstairs. That's just in case I can't stop you."

"How are you going to stop me, smart mouth? You don't even have a weapon."

Suddenly Adam drew his pistol from behind his back and dropped behind the settee. "I have a pistol. You'll never leave her alive unless you drop that rifle."

Rebecca fired a shot, and then shots seemed to come from everywhere at her. Hop Sing fired from the kitchen, Joe from the top of the stairs, and Adam from down low behind the settee. She was dead before she hit the floor. Adam looked up the stairs at Joe.

"Doc said only light duty with that arm."

"This was light duty."

"Did you hear?"

Merry and Drew stepped from behind the protection of the wall and stood at Joe's side. "We heard it all. What a sick woman and a sick mother. I guess we know now why Mama did what she did."

Ben, Hoss, and Roy burst through the front door then with guns drawn. Seeing Adam and Joe standing, they all holstered their weapons. "What in tarnation happened here?"

"Pa, surprised to see you back so soon."

"Once Hoss told me those fires were set deliberately, all three of us had the same idea that it was a diversion to get us away from the house. The hands are finishing up with putting the fires out and will stay there to make sure nothing reignites. Now what happened here? I don't want to have to ask again."

So Adam told most of the story with the others filling in bits and pieces along the way. Hop Sing and Roy then rolled Rebecca's body in the dining room rug. Roy would take her into town, and then he would arrest Elaine Waverly, and contact the authorities to arrest her husband for embezzlement. The good news was that the money had never left the bank. It was all there under an account opened by Waverly in Drew's name. After Roy left, Merry looked at Adam who was sitting with Drew on his lap.

"How did you know?"

"I guess it all started to come together when Roy mentioned that your mother left a three page letter. Now saying she was sorry and such would not have taken that much to write, so I guessed she was explaining something a lot more complex. And we kept moving our suspicions from one woman to the next with those three. There was a reason why each one of them could not be the one doing it. But if you lumped them all together as a conspiracy, then they could be doing it. Once the fires were set, I knew it had to be a diversion and expected either Elaine or Rebecca to walk through those doors. I wasn't sure which one it would be but it had to be one of them. The rest of it I didn't guess, but I knew it had to be some grand scheme cooked up by the three demented women."

"You are scary smart. No wonder I have trouble beating you at chess."

"Merry, you can beat Adam at chess?" Joe was surprised.

"Well when he was recuperating, I won a couple of times. He said I cheated." Then she grinned for she had cheated, but there were those two times when he couldn't prove it.

"She cheats."

"Oh yeah, and Hoss says I cheat at checkers too."

"Well, dadburnit, you do."

Drew looked up at Adam who wiped a tear from the little boy's cheek. "Are you sure you want to join this family, Drew?" Nodding, Drew had a little smile before he dropped his head back on Adam's shoulder. "Good."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Who is it?" Merry was working on some decorations on the mantel.

"It's Roy. Seems he's here a day early for the wedding." Adam had gone to the door when he heard a horse outside because they weren't expecting anyone. Ben and Hoss had gone to town to pick up things for the wedding the next day. Joe was resting upstairs. Roy walked up to the open door and Adam welcomed him.

"Now, you may want to take that welcome back after what I gotta do. Adam and Merry, I have to serve papers on ya. Drew's grandparents from California have filed to get custody of him saying you two are not fit parents for the boy. There's going to be a hearing on Monday. Now I'm supposed to put Drew in someone else's custody until the hearing decides where he's gonna go."

"Roy, you are not taking that boy from here. He's had enough trouble in his life." Adam was speaking softly but forcefully. Drew was in the kitchen helping Hop Sing bake a wedding cake. Mostly he was watching of course because he was fascinated by all the things Hop Sing did in the kitchen, and because he never interfered, Hop Sing liked having him in there.

"Now, I didn't say I was gonna do that. I saw your Pa in town and I gave custody to him. Now I hope that's all right with you. You better talk to a lawyer right quick though because this is moving along pretty fast. Someone must have made some pretty strong allegations against you."

After making sure that Drew was all right in Hop Sing's care and giving a quick summary to Joe, Adam and Merry headed to town. What had been such a happy day was again tense and stressful. Merry had to wonder when they could just relax and have fun. They met with the family attorney in town and laid out everything as far as they could explain. They had no idea what allegations had been made and would have to wait until Monday to find out. Drew's grandparents were staying at a hotel in town, but they were advised to stay away from them so that there could be no additional misunderstandings. Their lawyer said he thought the best witness would be Drew, but that Adam and Merry could be called as witnesses as well and would have to answer all questions put to them.

On Sunday, Paul and Roy made a point of sitting with the Cartwrights in church to show support. Then on Monday as Adam and Merry arrived for the hearing, Roy and Paul were there again as was the minister and a group of prominent citizens that their lawyer had contacted. If there was a need for character witnesses, there would be plenty. Ben arrived with Drew right after Adam and Merry. Hoss and Joe rode with them. In the courtroom, the spectators were all Cartwright family, friends, and supporters. That could not have been lost on the jury.

Sitting with a lawyer at the other table were Dwayne's parents. As petitioners, they had to make their case. The first person the lawyer called was Adam. Inside, Adam was boiling when the barrage of questions hit him, but on the outside, he remained calm and answered every question with sincerity even when asked about situations with Regan Miller and Melinda Banning. He was asked about gunfights he had been in such as with Poole. He was questioned about his relationship with the Paiute. He was asked to explain each time that he had been shot. The lawyer spent a lot of time on his shooting of Ross trying to make it appear that Adam may have been at fault for Delphine's death. Then he really hit hard asking Adam to name every man he had ever shot. Finally he finished up that line of interrogation with questions about Peter Kane and how he died. The he tried to rattle him by asking him about shooting Merry's father and Rebecca Waverly. It was clear he had done some research on Adam, but a lot of it was to shake him and try to get him to get angry or slip up in his answers. It almost happened when he asked Adam if he had relations with women to whom he was not married. He asked then if that included Merry. Then he established that when Merry moved to the Ponderosa, she was not married to Adam nor betrothed. Adam had to answer truthfully, and the grandparents were sitting rather smugly when the questions finished.

Standing slowly and surveying the courtroom, Adam's lawyer asked the judge for some leeway in asking questions. The judge gave provisional approval but said he would withdraw that if the lawyer abused his leniency.  
"Your Honor, I have a question for the men in this courtroom. I would like a show of hands of the men in here who have not had relations with a woman before marriage. I would like to let them know if they raise their hand, I will swear them in as a witness and question them under oath."

"Very well, ask your question."

As the question was asked, there were a lot of men looking around the room but only the minister raised his hand. Every other man there looked a little sheepishly at the others but knew he had a lot of company. Hoss and Joe glanced over at their father who steadfastly refused to meet their looks.

"Now, I would like to ask if there is anyone in this courtroom who would not shoot if shot at."

"Very well, ask your question."

That time not even the minister raised his hand. The judge told Adam's lawyer, Mr. Hodgson that he had made his point and could continue. He asked Adam only a few questions.

"Why did you shoot people?"

"Because they were shooting at or threatening me or others."

"Have you ever had relations with a woman against her will or in any way in a public display or breaking any other law?"

"No, because women deserve respect and kindness. I would never do anything to hurt a woman."

"Why did you want to take Drew into your home?"

"Because he was Merry's nephew. I love her, and I wanted to help her family if I could."

"And now why are you in court to keep custody of him?"

"Because I love him. He's my son now, and I want only the best for him."

There was no cross-examination. The petitioners' lawyer called Drew up to the stand next. The judge asked Drew if he was all right sitting there and being questioned. Drew had a question for the judge.

"If I answer the questions, then can I stay with Papa and Mama?"

"Do you mean Adam and Merry when you ask that?"

"Yes sir. They're my new Mama and Papa. My first Mama and Papa went to heaven. I still love them, you know, but they aren't here to love me back like my new parents."

"Now Drew, do you know what it means to swear to tell the truth?"

"I'm not supposed to swear, sir, because Papa said that could mean a good talking to. But I know the truth is telling what really happened and not making up a story."

"Very well then. Drew, I want you to answer every question with the truth. Can you do that?"

"Yes sir, I can do that."

"Very well, then, gentlemen, ask the boy your questions but I want you to remember he is only seven years old. I will not tolerate any abuse of this boy in my courtroom."

Drew raised his hand then. When the judge called on him, he had a statement to make. "Sir, I'm almost eight years old now." The judge smiled and thanked him for the information.

With a smile, the petitioners' attorney approached Drew. "Can you tell us where you sleep?"

"I have my own room, but sometimes I sleep with Adam."

"And where does your Aunt Merry sleep?"

"She has a room too, but sometimes she sleeps in Adam's bed too." The petitioners' lawyer sat down then thinking he had made his point.

Because Ben had mentioned this once to Roy and was overheard, the story had gotten around town. Knowing that, Adam and Merry had explained it to their attorney thinking that if the petition alleged unfit parents, that incident might be in there. Mr. Hodgson stood and asked Drew to explain under what circumstances he had slept with Adam.

"Well the first night I was at the house, I was really scared, so he let me sleep beside him. He sang me some songs real soft like, and he told me stories. He didn't use a book or nothing, but it was just like reading a story. Sometimes yet I still get afraid and Adam holds me and helps me fall asleep."

"Could you please explain what you meant when you said that sometimes Merry sleeps in Adam's bed too?"

"Well that first night I was there when I was so sad, Merry was sad too because my Mama was her sister. She was crying and Adam said she could stay next to him too. He said she should wrap herself in the blanket that was at the end of the bed and stay on top of the covers because they weren't married. All three of us were in the same bed. It was kinda crowded but I didn't want to leave. I felt safe there. Then the night Uncle Joe was shot, Adam let me sleep in his bed while he sat with Uncle Joe. Merry came in to talk with me, and she fell asleep so we were both sleeping in Adam's bed but he wasn't there. He went and slept in her bed later because I saw him come out of that room the next morning."

Adam held his breath on that one hoping that Drew would say no more. He didn't because at his age, he thought it was all very innocent so he explained it that way. Adam smiled at him on the stand, and Drew smiled back.

"Drew, would you tell us where you usually sleep now?"

"Well since Adam and Merry got married, they sleep in the room she had. Adam let me move into his old room, and he left a lot of his stuff in there because he said we could share it. A lot of his books are in there, and he said I could read them if I was careful with them. I am careful with books all the time because I like to read even if some of those books are too hard for me. Someday, I'll read them, but right now, Adam reads some of them to me."

There wasn't much the petitioners' lawyer could do after that but he made one last stab at it on redirect.

"Don't you think that you would want parents who are married to each other?"

"Yes, sir, I would."

"Then wouldn't you rather live with your grandparents who are married?"

"But Adam and Merry are married. I got to stand next to Adam when he married her. The minister asked me for the ring when it was time. I handed it to him, and he gave it to Merry when they said they wanted to marry each other. Then they kissed, but not very long. We had a nice party. I helped Hop Sing with the cake, but he did most of it. He showed me how to make little red buttons out of frosting, and I got to put those on the cake."

Looking at the minister who was sitting next to Ben and because the witness had mentioned it twice, the judge had one question. "Reverend, is that true? They're married?"

"Yes, Your Honor, I had the privilege of officiating at their wedding. They plan to have a party in June to celebrate and will be renewing their vows in church at that time."

Looking pointedly at the petitioners and their attorney, the judge asked if they had anything else because otherwise he was ready to rule on their petition. They didn't and he ruled in favor of Adam and Merry granting them an adoption of Andrew. Then he had an important question for them.

"Where did you get all this information that you used to try to break apart this family?"

"We got a letter, Your Honor, telling us terrible things about them."

"Who sent you the letter?"

"A Mrs. Elaine Waverly, Your Honor."

With a frown and a harrumph, the judge explained that she was in jail awaiting trial for murder, extortion, and conspiracy among other charges. He suggested that they owed Adam and Merry a great apology. Adam's lawyer walked over to explain to them who the boy's father actually was and anyone could see how devastated they were by that information. He stayed with them for quite a while explaining everything that had happened. They left on the next stage. Adam was home with his whole family by then as they celebrated Drew's formal admission to the family.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Do I have to go back to school? You could teach me here." Once all the turmoil was over, Adam wanted to get Drew into a more normal routine. There was still two months of school left and with the snow melting away, there was no reason he couldn't go to school.

"You need to go to school. I'll take you there today, and I'll be there to pick you up at the end of the day. I have a lot to do in town today, so I'll be close by for the whole day. Someone will give you a ride in each morning and then pick you up at the end of the day."

"When can I get a horse? Then I could ride to school by myself."

"I'm looking for a pony for you, but you're too young to be riding that far alone. Even when you get a pony, you will be riding with someone to school and back home again."

By the end of the day, Adam was back at school to pick up his son. He had worked with the bank and lawyers and finally had finished getting all the estates of Merry's parents and her sister and her husband who were also Drew's parents cleared. There was a nice sum in the bank in Merry's name and another one in Drew's name. The larceny had been reversed and all the money was back in its rightful accounts. He had news of the Waverlys as well that he would share with his family when he returned home. Mr. Waverly had been sold out by his wife who gave information to the authorities about some girls who had been found murdered in other towns. He had assaulted them and then killed them so they could never testify against him. He was in Reno awaiting execution by hanging. Elaine Waverly avoided the gallows with her willingness to give information. What she had not been prepared for was that the judge sentenced her to consecutive terms in the women's prison for the crimes she had committed. She would never get out. Finally the family could relax about that whole situation because all the loose ends were tied up.

Drew was very quiet on the ride home. Finally Adam had to ask.

"Are you upset because you don't have a pony yet?" Drew shook his head. "Are you upset with me because I'm making you go to school?" Drew shook his head again. "Did you get in trouble at school today?" Drew shook his head once more. "Son, you're going to have to tell me because I don't want to play twenty questions with you." With that, Drew started crying. Adam stopped, dismounted, and pulled Drew down into his arms. "Talk to me, son, and tell me what's upset you so much."

"I'm not a real Cartwright. That's what the boys at school said. They said I'm an orphan and I don't have any parents."

"You know I'm your father, don't you?" Drew nodded. "And Merry is your mother?" Drew nodded again. "You have a mother and father in heaven too?" Once more Drew nodded but he stopped crying because he was seeing the logic of Adam's statements, and he was ready with the next question.

"And you chose me. You wanted me to be your son. Those boys at school got in their families because their parents were nice to each other, but you picked me to be your son."

"Exactly. We love you very much, and you can't be an orphan if you have parents."

"Are you being nice to Mama?"

"Yes, I'm always nice to Mama except when she cheats at chess."

"No, I mean are you being nice so that you can have a baby together. I would like a brother. You have two, but I don't have any. How are you nice to her anyway? How is it different from being nice to everyone else? And where do you get the baby after you're done being nice to each other?"

"Ah, a baby grows in a mother's belly until it's big enough to be born."

Drew frowned a little and then asked the question that Adam knew he was going to ask. "How does the baby get in there?" So Adam explained briefly how that happened. Drew was very quiet before he looked up at Adam. "Can you show me?" At that, Adam almost choked.

"No, son, that is something that is very private between a man and a woman. You can see the horses doing it though. When your Uncle Joe puts a stallion in with some mares, he wants the stallion to put babies in the mares."

"That's not private?"

"No, the horses don't mind you watching."

"All right. Maybe one of those stallions can make me a pony. Is it all right if I ask Mama to make a baby boy with you?"

Adam almost choked again. "No, son, talking about this is also a very private thing. Fathers talk to sons, and mothers talk with daughters, and only a husband talks to his wife about that."

Drew was quiet for a while again. "Boy, grandpa was very lucky he only had sons then, wasn't he?"

"Yes, I like to think your grandfather was very lucky to have three sons, especially the first two. Joe has given him more gray hair and worry lines than Hoss and I ever did together."

"I like Uncle Joe. He's fun. I like Uncle Hoss too because he teaches me all sorts of stuff. He says some funny words though. Can I say dadburnit?"

"You just did so the answer must be yes."

"Papa, you're funny too. No, I mean, that's not a bad word, is it?"

"Not at all, and Uncle Hoss would probably think it was funny if you started saying it too." Time to get home now, though. Mama is probably wondering why we're late."

Once they were home, Adam told Merry about the conversation he had had with Drew. She smiled at him and asked him to go for a walk with her. Once they got to the grove of trees behind the house, she stopped and asked Adam to kiss her. "I know you said you wanted to have a baby but not right away. I'm afraid that you're only getting half of that wish."

Wrapping his arms around Merry, Adam pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her again and with even more passion. "I'm so happy right now, I could make love to you right here. Are you sure?"

"As sure as I can be. It's been six weeks and nothing, so I would think that's about as sure as I can be. I would think somewhere shortly after we married. I should have had my flow at least three weeks ago and nothing happened. So I waited to be sure before I told you. I had thought you might notice, but you've been so busy with all the legal and financial stuff."

"I did notice and I was hoping. I was afraid to say something though. Drew's going to be very happy. We should probably wait for a few months before we tell him though. Waiting eight months for the baby would be very difficult for him."

That night at dinner, Hop Sing brought milk for both Drew and Merry. Merry leaned over and whispered a question to Adam. "How does he know these things?" Adam shrugged and looked at his father who had noticed the milk too and had the hint of a smile as he looked at his oldest son. Hoss and Joe were digging into the platters of food and didn't notice. Adam shared his news about the Waverlys keeping it very simple so that Drew would not ask any questions. At the end of dinner, when Hop Sing asked if everyone was ready for dessert, Drew gave Hop Sing a compliment.

"Mr. Hop, that was the best dadburned supper I ever had, dagnabit."

Hop Sing nodded his thanks for the compliment, but Joe giggled and Hoss roared. Ben had to chuckle and shake his head. Drew sat with a slight smirk on his face because he was proud to have pulled that off just as he planned it. Merry leaned over to Adam. "He's your son. It's amazing how much like you he is."


End file.
